Funny but not in a good way

It’s been a funny – and by funny I don’t mean amusing – couple of days round yon parts.

Last night’s dog training was hilarious (note to self: don’t say hilarious because it reminds self of step MIL’s prelude to stories, “Well I must tell you, it was hilarious. What happened was….”  but it never is hilarious, in fact it’s generally mind numbingly boring)

Anyway. Poochie was as normal being her goody four shoes self. She’ll be bringing apples for the teacher next. “What is it you want me to do? Run up that pole? Ok then. Miss.’  Having got the idea, there isn’t any stopping her now, she mastered the art of the tunnel last night and when she came out of the far end she jumped about springing on all four legs like a little lamb in her excitement and her eagerness to get her laughing gear round a tasty morsel of sausage. God, what that dog won’t do for a sausage.

Debs dog on the other hand is like an unguided missile. What a ruffian, endless energy, she generally just runs round the course like a loony, failing to hear any instructions in her haste to get over the jumps.  Last night she went on the doggy equivalent  of a tightrope and was doing very nicely until she suddenly decided to take a  leap off it, flew through the air like a huge misshapen black and white fluffy bird and landed square  on Deb’s shoulders.

Deb did terribly well, her legs buckled but she managed to stay upright as the dog scrabbled to get a firm hold.  As for me and everyone else, we were falling about laughing in amazement. That dog must really, really love her!!

Getting home about 9 o’clock to a very, very quiet house, I realised that we had had yet another power cut. It’s happening  at least a couple of times a week at the moment and the powers that be aren’t able to trace the fault. In the meantime, somewhere in the region of 150 houses are ‘leccy less.  It wouldn’t have been so bad if it had been a nice evening, we’d have sat outside and chatted over a glass of wine. Of course it was cold, wet and windy for the first time in weeks so we sat inside and waited for it it go dark before plodding off to bed narky and bored.

Moving on to this morning, it suddenly struck me that I have a ton of work to get through and was looking forward to getting stuck in to it after me, C and the baby went to the dentist for our 6 monthly.  Poor C hates the dentist and was getting all flappy while he was trying to give her gnashers a good scrub up. Having survived the ordeal we decided that the best remedy for a rapid recovery would be to go into town for a posh coffee.  Stressful?  My God!!  The baby had not one but several fits of the screaming meamies for no apparent reason. Our fellow coffee drinkers seemed to be to less than charmed by her antics. Can’t imagine why.

Then came a text message saying that one of the clingons wasn’t well and was being sent home from school so could I look after the baby this afternoon. Ah well, I didn’t really want to get on with my work anyway (lies through teeth).  Never mind, I thought, it’ll be fun. WRONG!!!!!!!

She whined and moaned created and was generally a mammoth pain in the backside. Tired in the extreme she flatly refused to sleep despite all my best efforts.  Now at the age of potty training,  she indicated that there was a poo imminent. I sat her on the potty and then made the mistake of turning my back for a moment.  Oh yes, you’ve guessed it. Poo EVERYWHERE. Deep sodding joy.  In desperation I decided that half an hour with Gem and the clingons might cheer her up.  It cheered her up so much that she threw a plate at me in a fit of pique.     GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR!!!! Time for home, baby. I’ve had enough.

It hasn’t been all horrid though. We took delivery of our super duper new iphones.  The trouble with me is that I just want the instructions downloading directly into my brain. I really can’t be arsed reading the book. Not that I had time to anyway as we had clients due at 7pm and I still had to make tea and  our hell hole of a house needed a good  clean up after it had been well and truly baby-fied.  Of course I managed to burn my couscous while I was running round trying to make the place look serene. it might have looked serene but it smelt bloody awful,  burnt couscous really doesn’t smell nice at all.

The clients left as happy bunnies and now I’m wiiiiiiiiinding dooooooooowwwwwwnnnnnnn after a bloody hard day.

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