Happy Turdday!!

Me and Poochie have been our for  a longish walk on the moors this afternoon. It struck me halfway through our walk how stupid it is  that I’m so careful to take  a poo bag with me and make sure that the dog doesn’t sully  the countryside when we’re picking our way through a veritable carpet of assorted animal poo. It was almost impossible to se the grass for the poo.

There was sheep poo, horse poo, rabbit poo, cow poo and unidentifiable poo, not that I make it a mission to identify different types of poo, you understand, it’s just that some are so  instantly identifiable.   Every species of fauna within a 50 mile radius must have had a meeting and passed (haha  passed!!) an order designating  this part of the moors a  lavatory.  So,  how come that any type of poo is acceptable except dog poo?

Dog poo, disgusting as it is,  is no more disgusting than any other kind of poo. However  any dog poo must be bagged up and carried away in order not to contaminate an area it’s impossible to walk through without getting sh**ted up to the kneecaps  courtesy of all the livestock in the area.  Am I  missing something?

Yes, yes, yes, I know, as Boofuls so kindly pointed,  out there is the issue of canine toxocara. I KNOW!!!   I just chose to ignore it for the purposes of  this post. No need to write in and tell me!!!!

******

I’ve been trying out my new Nike trainer thingy that attaches to the laces of your trainers, or in my case, boots, and feeds information back to the phone about sitance travelled, speed, calories consumed. Brilliant. Or so you’d think.  Yesterday it decided I’d walked .44 of a kilometre in 1 hour and 9 minutes. I probably could have done that on my knees. By my reckoning I’d done about 4 miles.

Today, having set it to miles, it said I’d done .22 of a mile in 55 minutes.   Hhhmm, I know it’s hard to estimate distances but I could have sworn I’d done more than that, even while wading through poo.   It keeps wanting to calibrate itself to those measurements but of course I don’t want to use that as a yardstick. I thought it would be a case of set it up and it would just work, why is nothing ever straightforward? Sigh.

It gives an option of having music on to ‘work out’ to, I didn’t realise how much I enjoy the quiet of the country side until I had music assailing my lugholes every step of the way.  God, how times have changed. At one time I’d have loved being able to go everywhere with non stop music at my fingertips. A sign of maturity – or just of becoming an old fart? You decide.

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