When?

Tomorrow, that’s when!

Boofuls and me are finally getting the hell out of here and leaving all our cares behind us for a week of sun, fun and  er, relaxation and not a moment too soon, I can tell you.

The endless pot filling has come to an end (for me at least) it would have been nice to have finished it on a positive note but it all went so badly today that we just thought, ‘fook it’ and went home leaving everything to be picked up again tomorrow when hopefully all of the staff will bother to turn up. (Don’t start me off on a rant!)

We have a new temp, I’ll call him Art. As I was going into the shower room at work where we clean down the machines, Art was just coming out, adjusting himself after obviously having been for a wee.

I blushed and apologised profusely telling him that I would shout loudly in future before coming in (although a female member of staff was already in there). He smiled at me and with a wink said, “Ah, I don’t think you will be shocked, you look like an experienced woman to me.”

A WHAT???!!!!  Did he just call me an old slapper?

I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and put it down to semantics and language barriers. Everyone I’ve told though thinks it’s bloody hysterical. Experienced woman indeed.

Getting home from work I had to navigate past a car parked at the top of our track. A middle aged couple were leaning on the fence gazing down the field towards our house. ‘Probably just come to look at their horses…..or maybe they’ve come to look at our house.’ I thought hopefully.  Well, there were no horses on the field so if that’s what they came to look for they were probably leaning on the fence bemused thinking, ‘Where the hell are my horses?’  Good question, actually. They’ve been gone for days.

Getting in the house, dying of starvation and tiredness I dragged myself off into the kitchen to make something to eat. ‘I’ll just melt the butter in the microwave for a minute,’  as I popped the butter in to soften it occurred to me that Boofuls might like a glass of wine so I went to get him one.

PING.

Ooooooh crap!

I really did put the butter in the microwave for a minute  – and the runny, greasy, golden, sticky and unctuous liquid was everywhere. Oh  how I laughed while I cleaned up all the mess.

All in all not the best day I’ve ever had but never mind, eh?  It can only get better.

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