Oooh! You cheeky bitch!

It really isn’t difficult. If its single items, like, say, cream cakes, then it’s ‘less’ as in:

‘There are three less than before’.

If it’s a plural thing then it’s FEWER. Got it? FEWER!

‘This car has FEWER emissions’.

Tsk. Pass this lesson on basic English on to Fiat will you, they obviously don’t understand the difference and Boofuls is getting fed up of me shouting at the telly every time I see their advert.

*****

Yesterday’s engagement shoot in Blackpool was fun. The couple were a pair of proper characters. Having read my email suggesting that they don’t wear patterns or too many colours, the girl turned up in this technicolour dream coat.

technicolour dream coat

Which perfectly matched her technicolour nails, and also her personality which was bright and vivacious. We had a brilliant shoot, I hope they decide to book us for their wedding because Boofuls and me really liked them both.

Once we’d finished the shoot we went off the the De Vere hotel in Blackpool for a bit of r & r.   The plan to go dancing at the tower was jettisoned as we didn’t finish the shoot till 2pm and it shuts at 4 so not really worth going.  We decided to go to Funny Girls instead.

We’d never been before so didn’t really know what to expect but we quickly got the idea when I noticed that the security person on the door was a man dressed as a woman dressed as a man.  Uh?

We were shown to our table by the impossibly tall and beautiful waitress with the huge hands, feet and Adam’s apple.   It was a brilliant evening, at one point the photographer approached us and asked if wewanted a photo.  “No thanks, I can look at him every day, I don’t need a photo.” I said.

“Ooooohh, you cheeky bitch!” he squealed, throwing his hands up in the air before he turned and minced away. Laugh? I nearly bought a round!  The whole evening was more camp than a row of tents.

Boofuls and me had a fantastic time watching all the antics of staff and customers alike, watching the cabaret and listening to the ultra cheesy music played by a Danny la Rue looky like in the sparkliest dress you’ve ever seen.

Part of the cabaret was a song and dance routine to Cher’s ‘Proud Mary’ When I say song and dance, I really mean mime and dance but we didn’t care, we were just enjoying the whole experience. I did notice however that some of the dance moves looked very familiar.  I puzzled over it for a minute when it hit me. Just Dance 2!!!  It’s the same dance routine!!  I nearly fell off my chair laughing.  Actually, I wasn’t on a chair, I was sat on the floor because from our seat in the Royal box (the only seats available) I wasn’t able to see the whole stage unless I sat on the floor, so I did. Classy, eh?

I don’t know who those people are but the one in the penguin costume made me laugh so I thought I’d share it with you. Now, back to the plot,  imagine the dance done by half a dozen seven foot tall trannys in sparkly costumes and you get the idea.

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