Living in the middle of nowhere

There are definite advantages to living in the middle of nowhere, as we do, especially when the weather is as glorious as it has been for the last few days.

Firstly, the view across the valley is amazing on a clear day, the air is fresh and sweet and it’s a real joy to get home and just sit quietly enjoying the surroundings.

We don’t get traffic, or even traffic noise.  Being a good mile away from the nearest proper road and half a mile away from the lane it’s rare to see a car and when we do see one it causes everyone to get up for a look. ‘Oohh, there’s a car, I wonder who it is? What do they want? They must be lost’

Passers by? Nope? Very rarely we see a walker with their nose in a map looking for an ancient right of way.

It’s peaceful in the extreme. It’s so peaceful that visitors to our home are often scared at night because it’s so very quiet, as silent as the grave.

Until….. this time of year when the horses go back into the fields.

Not our horses, we don’t have any but as we live in the equestrian epicentre of the north west we are surrounded by livery stables (sounds like something of a wild west programme).

They were turned out into the fields a couple of days ago. In the field to the left of the house there is a lovely piebald horse I haven’t seen before and a couple of  new white ones, one of which is a pygmy. How sweet is he?!?

Of course our old friend the windsucker fence destroyer is still there, bless him. You don’t really imagine a horse to have psychological problems but he’s really quite mad. Very friendly though.

It’s a picture of rural heaven isn’t it? What could possibly disturb it?

Well, dear reader, let me tell you.

Lying in my bed last night, windows open because of the heat I woke up with a jump thinking someone was being murdered.  One of the horses, just a few feet away from the house and my open bedroom window, decided to let out a barrage of loud screams.  Dear God!

I nearly had a heart attack. I shot out of my bed  like my backside was on fire wondering what the hell was going on. Of course once I was up  and properly awake I realised it must have been the horses having a bit of a domestic.  ‘Keep the noise down, chaps, trying to get some kip, here!’

As if that isn’t bad enough then they got bored so they decide to walk up to the metal gate and start kicking it. Just what you need at three in the morning. CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!  Talk about ASBO neighbours, this lot are the neighbours from hell.

Hahaaaaa ‘neigh’bours! Gedit?

I mean, it’s not like I can just send them into another room like I do with Boofuls when he’s disturbing my sleep with his many and varied snores.  I’m knackered.

It’ll take a couple of weeks before they get used to being outside and I get used to hearing noises outside. In the meantime, I may just have to invest in some ear plugs. Can I go back to bed for a couple of hours, please?

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