Living in the back of beyond

So the perfect weather continues in the back of beyond.

I keep running out every five minutes to see if the potatoes, carrots, onions, tomatoes and peas that I planted last week have sprouted yet. Bitterly disappointed when there’s still nothing to see I still have to go out a little while later for another look.

Passing thieves, murderers and muggers aren’t something we worry about too much up here. Well, not the human kind, anyway. The animals are a different matter; thieving, murdering sods, they are.

The front door was left open the other day, it would have been sinful to keep it closed on such a glorious day. We went about our business and the sun shone. It was only as we got back in the house towards evening that we realised  – we’d been mugged.

A cat had sneaked into  the house and sprayed in the hallway. The smell left us reeling. It was like a cosh round the head.  Not only that but we realised we’d been robbed as well. A whole dish of cat food had gone missing!

The assailant was nowhere to be seen but I have narrowed the suspects down to two. Our fluffy cat’s old adversary, Fang, a  bruiser of a cat with a bad attitude or the deceptively sweet looking ginger tom who beats our cats up on a regular basis. The word on the fields is that it was most likely Fang, breaking and entering is more his style than violence.

Round at the back of the barn we have masonry bees. How do we know they re masonry bees? Easy.

They fly out of the little hole in the wall wearing their little aprons and white gloves muttering unintelligible words under their breath and shaking hands in a strange fashion whilst giving each other knowing looks. It’s dead easy to spot a masonry bee when you know how.

My God, those little buggers move fast. I set up the camera and a tripod at the entrance to their hive to try and photograph them as they flew off. They waddle out to the entrance and then by the time I’ve registered that they’re ready to fly off – they’ve gone. Quick as a flash.  Mind you, I’ll probably never make a nature photographer, after three goes if I haven’t got ‘the shot’ I’m bored with it.

The clingons wanted a picnic and a game of croquet on the ‘lawn’ this afternoon.

I’m not totally sure the girls have got the hang of the game yet. As much as I told them it was a game of finesse and skill they still wacked the ball with the mallet as hard as possible, I’m sure they were confusing it with golf. At one point Batty wacked the ball with the mallet and somehow managed to fire it off at an angle of 90 degrees, straight into my thumb, damn near breaking it!

There was a small group of walkers about half a mile away and they could clearly see there was something going on so they walked up to our far fence, obviously thinking they’d come for a looky. I could see they were looking for a way in but it was all to no avail, we are pretty well ring fenced in and outsiders just can’t come wandering by willy nilly (Chews on grass while hollering ‘git yer ass off a ma land!’  Mmm, I think I suit these dungarees) .

Here are a few photos from today’s perfect afternoon:

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