Deer! Dog! Boy!

Oh, bloody hell, what a drama.

It’s been a week or so since I’ve seen my sister so I sent a text: ‘Fancy a walk in the park?’

Mrs Woofy is allowed out again now that the £2 coin sized wound in her side is as small as pea, that would be a petit pois not a marrowfat pea and I thought a nice gentle stroll in the park would help her to convalesce.

‘Fab. See you there.’ came back the response. We met at the appointed place, Me, my sister, niece and her boyfriend. Mrs Woofy was all over excited and straining at the leash, eager to burn off three weeks worth of steam and generally being a pain in the proverbial.

My sister’s dog, a huge  and powerful alaskan malamute who goes by the name of ‘Flick’, looked at  her disdainfully as if to say, ‘Calm it down a bit, love.’

Alaskan Malamute


Through the park we went, keeping a wide berth from other dogs as Mrs Woofy still has an open wound and Flick has a short temper. He won’t start a fight by by God, he’ll finish one.

Eventually we began the climb up into the wood, it was a nice, sunny and  breezy day, perfect for a walk. The dogs sniffed around and inestigated everything while we all walked and chatted when we were all disturbed by excited shouts from somewhere to our right.

The next thing we knew was that a  biggish deer leapt straight out of a bush about five feet in front of us. We all stood, frozen to the spot, all that is except Flick who set  off  with a howl at lightning speed  to bring it down.

My sister shouted:  DEER!

Then as realisation dawned:  DEER!  DOG!  FLICK! OH  NOOOOOOOOOO!  FLICK! STOOOOOOOPPPP!

Off course the dog threw her a deaf  ‘un at that point as he bounded off into the woods for his prey.

So the dog set off after the deer, the boyfriend set off after the dog, the niece set off after the boyfriend, my sister and me set off calling the dog and praying that he wouldn’t catch the deer and Mrs Woofy set off after everyone thinking that there was a nice game of chase going on.   It  was all a bit chaotic and  Benny Hill -ish.

Eventually, Flick came back, with no evidence of having caught the deer. I think the boyfriend just kept running I don’t know where he got to but he was gone for ages.We just carried on with our walk,  keeping a wary eye out for livestock and laughing like maniacs with relief that we weren’t going to prison for killing deer.  Bloody animals, it’s enough to give you a heart attack.


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