The end is nigh – apparently

Well, if that’s the case then I won’t bother decorating the bathroom, that would be a proper waste of time and effort wouldn’t it? All beautifully decorated  just to fall down a big hole in the ground.

Of course, the other thing is that if it’s my time to shuffle off my mortal coil then I’ll put on my best evening gown, mix a jug of Pimm’s and go elegantly and just a bit squiffy. Imagine the film, ‘Titanic’ where all the band continued to play till the very end and you’ve got the picture.  I mean, I’d hate to turn up at the Pearly Gates in my scruffy decorating clothes with no make up and and my hair all over the place, looking like mad Martha.

What do you mean: ‘What the hell are you banging on about?’

The end of the world. It’s today, apparently. Well, not actually today, the beginning of the end is today.

As a believer I’m not mocking God here.

I’m mocking the people who scare monger and frighten people. And I’m mocking them because I’m angry. My poor grand daughter is setting off on a school holiday today. Yesterday she was almost in tears and very worried about going because she thought we were all going to die and she’d be on a coach somewhere between here and France.

It took a lot of talking round and many examples of previous, unsuccessful predictions of the end of the world to calm her down. Was it not meant to be in 1988 or 1881, 1994 or next year in December?

Even  Old Mother Shipton  got it wrong. It was her who predicted the 1881 demise of the world. I seem to remember from a visit to her cave in Knaresborough that it was the only prediction she got wrong.

Oh well, we shall see.

In the meantime, Batty is setting off  today on her trip to France for a week and Gembolina is a nervous wreck as it’s the first time Batty’s been away unless it’s been a night or two with either us or her other grandparents. I’m certain this week will be a lot harder for her than it is for Batty, she’ll be having a whale of a time abseiling, climbing, canoeing and lots of other stuff.

If we all survive, that is. See you tomorrow. Maybe.


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