Preparing my breakfast just now, pineapple, apple, melon and strawberries. I was hacking the peel off the pineapple when I suddenly remembered a programme I watched about pineapple growers.
Rather than us ing my slow and laborious method of getting rid of the pineapple skin this chap used a machete to trim the pineapple ready for canning. ” Much better than my method’, I thought, ‘He was whacking one out about every ten seconds. It takes me loads longer than that.’
Then it occurred to me that that sounded quite rude. That made me laugh. The more I thought about it, the funnier it got. I stood in the kitchen, my shoulders shaking, tears pouring, gasping for breath and my face aching from laughing. The builder kept walking past the open back door looking at me strangely thinking I was suffering from an affliction but too scared to ask.
It’ll never be the same again, cutting up a pineapple.