The dress code for my friend’s surprise birthday dinner was smart casual, always a tricky option for someone like me who just looks like a tramp in jeans and too formal in trousers and a jacket. I opted to go for the new dress I bought in Manchester recently, a pretty peacock and navy blue number.
The navy blue element of the dress made my image consultant friend raise her eyebrows a bit when she saw it as navy is most definitely not one of my best colours but I worked on the basis that it was less than 50% so it’d be ok. Obviously not as she gently suggested during the evening that we re – rate my colour chart, image consultant speak for ‘let’s get you back on the right track because you look a bugger in that’. It was a bit too much of a summer dress for the occasion as well but hey ho, I hadn’t had a chance to wear it and I wanted to, besides, when I was an image consultant (my friend was originally one of my clients) we were taught that ‘Once you know the rules you can break them with impunity.’ So I did.
Being a summer dress it’s very light and flowy and just a teensy bit low in the neckline department. Every now and then my ample boobs try to make a run for it so I thought it best to take measures to keep them under control and prevent any of the middle aged men having heart attacks. In that situation there’s only one option.
The sheepdog bra.
You know, the one that rounds ’em up and pens ’em in. Works a treat. It’s like scaffolding. Nothing moves when I’m wearing that including, unfortunately, my lungs but small breaths are a fair trade off to keep the big breasts under control.
The evening passed cheerfully enough. The highlight of the evening was when the birthday cake was brought in, a delightful creation made to look like a Jimmy Choo shoe box with chocolate and marzipan shoes with real Jimmy Choo labels! Wow! What a fantastic cake! All the women were in raptures about it, all the men just looked at it without much interest. Can I show you a photo of it? No, sorry, I haven’t got one, I was too excited to photograph anything.
All in all not a bad night out.
I’ve been collecting kit for The Big Adventure ( there’s another story I’ll tell you soon) over the last few months. It’s been a few years since I’ve been in the thermal underwear department of a shop but needs must and all that. My latest purchases were a thermal long sleeved vest in silk and matching long johns in a very fetching creamy colour. On the same shopping trip I got silk socks and silk liner gloves, both in black. I tried on the vest and long johns with the socks. Catching sight of myself in the mirror I burst out laughing. I looked like I was wearing a giant babygro! Once the socks and gloves were added to the ensemble the look changed into that of a slightly deranged panda. Now that is a difficult look to do well. Good job my friend didn’t see me!
That picture isn’t me, it is actually a panda, though you would have been hard pressed to have been able to tell us apart.