Snory story

Here’s a little snory story for you to keep you going till I can write a proper post about our lovely romantic anniversary dinner last night.

Since weeknights have become a no alcohol zone in our house in an effort to econimise, lose weight and generally get healthy, I’ve noticed a welcome but totally unexpected side effect. Boofuls no longer spends most nights snoring and I no longer spend most nights cursing, digging him in the ribs and shouting at him to ‘”Turn over and SHUDDUP!!” Usually followed by, “Right! That’s it! You’re p***ing me off now. Go and sleep in the spare room.”

Peace, perfect peace. I’m loving it. I’m loving getting up in the morning and not spending half the morning trying to get my poor brain out of it’s sleep deprived fog.

Weekends, however are the perfect reason to open a nice bottle of sauvignon blanc and partake of a wee drinkie.

Last Friday night, sauvignon blanc-ed to a nice fuzzy level, Boofuls and me retired to our bed.

Sure enough, within a few seconds – yes, that wasn’t a typo I did mean seconds, how that man can fall asleep so fast is beyond me. It’s like turning off a light – Boofuls was asleep and snoring gently. I’d decided to read a couple of chapters of my latest Harry Potter.

Within a few seconds the snore fest had begun and the volume level began to rise. Soon it was reverberating around the bedroom and I was starting to suffer from  sense of humour failure.

Now you may or may not know that I’m not a woman known for my tolerance. I let the cacophany continue for a few minutes with the occasional “shuddup” or “turn over”. It was obvious he was dreaming by the twitching and muttering that was going in in between the snores but I soon got bored of  listening to it and as normal announced. “Right! That’s it. You’re p***ing me off now, go and sleep in the spare room.”

He jumped, grunted and in the most pathetic voice you can imagine said, ” I can’t. I don’t know where it is.”

Oh how that tickled my funny bone! I was apopleptic with laughter and stuffing the duvet into my mouth in an attempt to not laugh out loud and wake him up too much.

” Well, love. Get out of bed, turn right, open the door and walk up the landing and it’s the first door on the right.”  By now I thought he’d be fully woken up and noticing my sarcastic tone but instead he thanked me gratefully for my directions, got up and went on his way!

I laid there laughing till the tears poured down my face and my stomach ached.  The following morning he didn’t remember a single thing about it.

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7 thoughts on “Snory story”

  1. For the first part, I was ” I am hearing you girlfriend”, right up to where you get him to get out of bed and sleep in another room. How does that work? My choices are: (a) I get out of bed and sleep in the spare room, or (b) I stuff in earplugs.

    1. Hahaaaaa It’s easy. Up until very recently our son was still at home. If I moved to the spare room, which only has a partition wall between the spare room and his room, I simply swapped Boofuls’ snoring for Big N’s snoring. So, in the interests of marital harmony, as I’m a proper sod when I’m tired, Boofuls changed rooms. He and Big N created snore duets together and drowned each other out while I sleep peacefully at the other end of the house.

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