Onions and Roses

It’s been a long while since I did an onions and roses.

Firstly, I award a lovely big bunch of  roses to the chap at a company called Printed Wardrobe for being friendly and helpful way over and above the call of duty.

I’d ordered a tee shirt wearing teddy bear. The idea is that you personalise the tee shirt so I’d picked  a photo of Munki to go on it and the words ‘Munki Bear’. When the bear arrived the tee shirt had the words on it but so teeny tiny I needed a magnifying glass to read them and the photo was non existent.

One email later and the lovely Olly took over.  I’d explained the bear was lovely but the shirt was wrong, could I please have another tee shirt.  He said he’d organise another shirt and he’d upload it and basically redo the whole order for me to make sure it was correct. The very next day my replacement arrived. That’s impressive!

Many, many thanks to Olly at Printed Wardrobe for being a star!

Great big stinking onions go to a bridezilla I seem to have picked up – or rather I should say  bridezilla and  dadzilla. She came to view her photos and LOVED them. Right at the end of the viewing session, as she wiped away the tears of joy, she suddenly blurted out. “There’s only 500 here. Where’s the rest?”  I explained (as I had at our pre wedding meeting) that we shoot loads, take out the winkers, blinkers, stinkers and duplicates. and edit to the best 500 – and personally I think 500 is more than enough for anyone’s wedding ( I didn’t actually voice that last bit). She’s now on a mission to bully me into handing over the rejects, aided and abetted by her dad. I’m losing sleep over this pair and it’s starting to seriously piss me off. We did  a cracking job at her wedding and now her she and her dad are trying to find faults that don’t exist and I’m  have to justify every decision I’ve made. She’s in great danger of  making herself dislike her own wedding photos by trying to find faults in order to back me into a corner and release rejects.

I was hoping to make a sample album from that wedding  (yup, it’s that good )  but I can hardly bear to even look at the pictures now. The husband, incidentally, is very happy with everything.  Why don’t I release the rejects? They’re rejects, ’nuff said.

Moving on before I start ranting:

Lashes decided it was time to buy a Christmas tree. Off we trotted way out into the countryside to our favourite wood yard in lovely thick falling snow. Great big fat flakes of snow fell on us as we walked round the rows of trees listening to Christmas music. The atmosphere was jolly and everyone was friendly and smily. All the trees were covered in snow, it could have been a scene from a film, it was all so perfect.  The scenery on the way home couldn’t have been more like a Christmas card it if had tried. That was one of the nicest hours I’ve spent all year.

On the way there Gembolina texted me to ask if I’d like to pop round for a coffee. I quickly sent back, “No, I’m off with Lashes to buy a Christmas tree.” The phone bleeped again.

“Get that for me will you, Lashes.”

It read, ‘That might hurt your head.’


Lashes scrolled through the whole message and immediately burst out laughing.

Bloody predictive text.

It seems that when I’d put ‘I’m off to buy a Christmas tree’,  predictive text had changed it without me noticing to, ‘I’m off to nut a Christmas tree.’

Hahaaaaaaaaaa!!! I laughed so much that I had to stop the car, I couldn’t see through the tears pouring down my face and  my lungs were on the point of collapse as I couldn’t  take a breath through the guffawing. It’s a good job I was wearing a seatbelt or it would definitely be a case of ROFL.

Just in case you don’t know. To nut something is to headbutt it.

Dance teacher: No change, still in ICU.


4 thoughts on “Onions and Roses”

  1. At least you had a balance of onions and roses. Imagine if they were all onions. Your bridezilla seems absolutely dreadful. What is with people?

    I did not know to nut means to headbutt. Thanks for the vocabulary lesson 🙂

    1. She’s a bit of a nightmare but I’m sure it will sort out eventually. Glad you enjoyed your vocabulary lesson. I’l drop the odd bit of Lancashire dialect in for you every now and again ;-D

  2. I’m always a willing student when it comes to new words or regional dialects. My favorite British word is gobsmacked. It’s an absolutely perfect sounding word for what it means.

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