Generally I never watch the news on tv, it’s way too depressing for someone of my tender sensibilities and no way to start or end the day.
I do,however, read the news online. I skim the headlines and see what might be interesting, funny or relevant to my life and ignore the rest. Yes, it’s a head in the sand approach to life but me reading about people being raped, wars, murders and economies collapsing round our ears won’t stop it happening it’ll just depress me, so I don’t do it .
This morning I’ve read three stories so far and every one of them has made me laugh out loud or they say in the vernacular, LOL I’d even go so far as to say LMAO or even PMSL although more accurate would be SMYWL. If you don’t know what the last one is all will be revealed as you read on.
First there was the story about an escaped lion. Based on eye witness accounts the police had been scouring the area for a lion which turned out to be a ginger tom. Easy mistake to make, I suppose.
Someone put together this handy guide in case you ever find yourself in a similar situation.
You can read the story here here. Best quote by far:” It’s a F***ing LION!”
Next was the amazing new discovery that scientists have made. Did you know that exercise is good for you? Who’d have thought it!!??! You can read that one here
Then, saving the best for last. This one made me choke on my yoghurt. You’ll be glad to know that I immediately ceased all activities till the yoghurt had stopped coming down my nose and I’d cleaned the yoghurt I’d sprayed everywhere off my monitor. This incident has now got it’s own acronym: SMYWL ie. snorted my yoghurt while laughing. What caused such a disgusting incident?
This did. It’s the story about the Indian virginity cream. The line that caused the yoghurt incident was: “I feel like a virgin,” she croons, although the advert makes it clear she is not.
Oh! My ribs ache! I can’t take any more of this hilarity! You have to love the news, Thanks Aunty Beeb.