The poo incident

The vet’s remedy of choice for Douggie the doggie of her two options, the one that didn’t work or the one that could destroy his kidneys, turned out to be the one that could destroy his kidneys.

She phoned me to give me the news that I could pick up his tablets the following day and commence treatment.

I felt sick.

It seems like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Surely there has to be a gentler way than this to control his epilepsy?

I consulted with my old friend, Google and did a bit of research. Then it hit me. Homoeopathy! Of course!

When Lashes was a baby she had shocking eczema and we found ourselves in a similar situation, use potentially harmful and invasive drugs or find a gentler way. After many months of trying out various herbal cures, lotions, potions and pills with limited success we found a homoeopath. Within a few days Lashes’ eczema was  cured.

Referring back to my old friend, Google, I found a homeopathic vet about an hour away from us. One quick phone call to them and an appointment was booked. One quick phone call to my own vet to ask them to fax Douggie’s medical records over to the new vet left me with my ears on fire. Fair to say the vet wasn’t impressed. Funny that. I remember our GP having exactly the same response when I told him Lashes was seeing a homoeopath. He told me a was a bad mother and I was dabbling in nothing more than witchcraft. Bless him.

The night before our appointment I gave Douggie a wash and brush up. Since he’d spent most of the previous week wet through he was smelling more than a bit like particularly pungent cheese. He made stinking bishop smell like a rose garden.

About an hour before we were due to set off to the new vet I took him for a walk up the track. Off he went to try and catch a rabbit as he does, he’s never caught one yet, probably because of his habit of thundering up the hill announcing his arrival about 200 yards before he gets there. All the rabbits are safely back in their burrows long before he arrives.  I carried on up our track happy in the knowledge that he’s catch me up before the corner. I got to the corner. No Douggie.


In the distance I saw four legs waving about in the air.  Oh no!!

I set off running back down the track thinking he was having another fit. Then I saw a big doggie head pop up with a big stupid grin on it’s face.  At exactly the same moment I real realised he had buried himself in our neighbours twenty foot high pile of horse poo and was having a good old roll round in it.


Instead of the pristine white he’d been five minutes earlier an orange Douggie ran up to meet me, so pleased with himself. Not an inch of him didn’t have horse poo on it. It was hanging off him in clumps, there was bits of straw stinking out of him at all angles giving him a peculiar porcupine shape, lets not even talk about the aroma.  They say horse poo is good to put on the garden. I could cheerfully have buried him in the garden  – and there was enough poo on him to fertilise it for a whole year.

Nothing for it but to give him another bath.

I filled the bath and then braced myself to stand in it in order to shower him down and get the shampoo deep into his fur. While I was paddling around in dilute horse poo with the straw and clumps  getting between my toes it’s fair to say I asked myself some serious questions as to why I actually wanted a dog. That was between the heaving of course. Keeping hold of my breakfast was proving tricky.

We arrived at the vets just about on time, with Douggie still  dripping wet through and a bit whiffy. He really needed more than the once over I’d given him. What he really needed was a whole bottle of shampoo and huge amounts of deodorant. The vet was very polite about it and pretended she couldn’t smell him. Oh, the shame!

Our consultation lasted an hour and a half, during which time she asked me gazillions of questions about Douggie, about me, about his background, everything about him in fact. Every now and then she’d “Hhhhhmmmmm” and consult her book.  Eventually she decided on a remedy for him. Actually, two. One constitutional remedy and one acute remedy.  The acute remedy is for when he’s in stressful situations. It’s belladonna! I walked into the health shop and asked for it and they looked at me if I was trying to kill someone. “Belladonna? What do you want that for?”

Obviously being homeopathic it’s massively diluted.  Mind you,  if Douggie pulls any more stints like what will go down in history as  ‘the poo incident’ I may well be looking for a stronger dose.

Be warned, pooch!





9 thoughts on “The poo incident”

  1. Oh Douggie!! And poor Lesley!
    Good on the homeopathic vet, though. Great idea! I’m not fond of strong meds, either. They prescribed me a muscle relaxer for my ankle and I took the prescription paper but never filled the prescription. Straight to the shredder it went!

    1. Good for you! I think half the time the only people who benefit from these strong drugs are the drug companies who sell them. The doctor once gave me a muscle relaxant for my shoulder, it relaxed my brain as well. The kids were howling laughing because I was as high as a kite! They went down the sink (the tablets, not the kids) 😀

  2. I feel your pain – both with the poo, the vet and the ill pet. I could fill this box with tales of dogs rolling in dead moles, cat poo, a pile of horse and cow dung and a (freshly) dead pheasant.

    As for the other part – our dog had chronic atopic dermatitis for years. She had to wear a cone all the time to stop her biting herself raw. Tried everything from steroids to diet and every medication and herbal treatment in-between, before settling on an immunosuppressant. Ironically, the one thing that ‘cured’ her dermatitis was the tumour that grew on her adrenals (Cushing’s disease).

    She saw a holistic vet once and the treatment didn’t seem to do much, although the sulphur drops he gave her to clear up her cloudy and weeping eyes did work.

    One set of vets (in south London) was very down on anything ‘alternative’. Her last vet group here in Wiltshire was very undertanding and worked very well with holistic and homeopathic vets, as long as the owners kept them informed and they had regular check-ups..

    1. Oh God! Your poor dog, that’s just awful. You must have been beside yourself watching her suffer while you tried to find a cure that wouldn’t kill her.

      Honestly, kids and pets just break your heart sometimes. I’m not having either in my next life, I’ll stick to plants!

      1. LOL Well I’d hope that the benefits of pets (can’t speak for having children) far, far outweigh any of the downsides!

        She had her bad days, but was otherwise pretty resilient about the whole thing. Luckily we were in a position where my other half was able to give up work to look after her full-time for the last few years, but she kept her zest right up until the last.

        It was a trial going through one attempt after another, and in the end it was the acceptance of having a treatment that would limit her illness(es) rather than having a final cure. Just one of those things, I suppose, that you go through as a (responsible) pet owner! They can’t speak for themselves so you have a duty to speak for them.

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