In fact, I think it must be National Extraneous Apostrophe Year as I’ve see so many of them around.
The local sun bed shop has had a new sign made: ‘SUN BED’S’
The local greasy spoon has a sign up saying the now sell Holland’s pie’s.
So in honour of the occasion I’m going to litter everything I write today with extraneous apostrophe’s.
I may tell you about the dog’s at the dog club last night, all rehearsing a formation dance routine for a demonstration on Sunday. Douggie the doggie and I had to drop out after Douggie had a fit, a shaky one not a hissy one. That meant at training last night we were put with the beginner’s. Ok, there was only one beginner but I couldn’t get an apostrophe in. Phew! It’s harder than I thought, this.
Since it’s harder than I thought I’m going to spell potato as potatoe and tomato as tomato. (Damn, now I have to think of thing’s to say that include the words potato and tomato). I think I’ll add extraneous ‘e’s to any words I can get them in as well to make the job easier.
Anyway, you get the idea. Everywhere I go my eyeball’s are assaulted with ridiculous mistakes that even nine year old’s shouldn’t be making. What on earth has happened? How did we become a nation of semi literate idiot’s? Rant over.
Booful’s and I decided to drop into B & Q to pick up a few item’s to beautify the garden for our potential buyer’s, who aren’t exactly battering the door down I might say. While we were there I had occasion to use their er.. facility’s ( aaaaargh, my eyeball’s!!!). You’d think in a shop stuffed full of bathrooms they’d be able to replace a broken toilet seat in their own loo’s rather than hold it together with tape. Eeeeeeww.
As you may have guessed, the Douggiemobile, aka my CRV is a bit of a tip. It’s ( heh :-D) become a bit of a shrine to Douggie with a back seat guard, a tailgate guard, spare lead’s, poo bag’s, treat’s, towel’s and toy’s. IT was quite a balmy evening last night so while I was driving north for our HTM lesson last night I had the window’s open to keep Douggie cool. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw what looked like a bat flying around in the boot. OH MY GOD. WHAT’S THAT?? Note to self: It’s not a good idea to stare into the back of the car whilst driving at 70 mph on the M6, or indeed any motorway.
The bat then landed on the tailgate guard. At which point I could see it was in fact a black poo bag which had been caught up in the draught and taken flight. Oh! Be still my beating heart!