Life, love and loss

Life has a way of taking over sometimes and just getting in the way of living – if you see what I mean.

No? Ok. let me explain.

Boofuls and I set off to Devon with Douggie the doggie, mostly for a nice end of summer break but also to view a couple more properties for sale. Almost from the moment we set off we were beset with difficulties and odd events. I’m not going to bang on about them – mostly because of a very inspiring post by Vanessa, my Farfetched friend – you can find the very post here.

Remember the cousin who got married earlier this year and then died a few days after? Well, On the way to Devon, although it isn’t really on the way at all, we decided to stop off to see my uncle and surviving cousin in Swindon. Having told them that we’d get a hotel for the night they suggested that we stay in my deceased cousin’s house as her husband was away for the weekend and had said we could have the run of the place. “How very nice of them, that’ll be lovely.”

They seemed a little bit tense when we got there and there seemed to be a bit of an atmosphere but we put it down to the fact that they are very shy and we don’t see them that often. The conversation was a bit hard going at times but we spent a very nice evening with them, going out for a very nice meal in a very nice dog friendly restaurant. All in all very nice. Until……… cousin dropped a major bombshell. BOOM!

What is it with my family and major announcements in public places? For Gawd’s sake! There’s another story there but I’ll save that one for another day.

Cousin’s announcement forced me to release a couple of skeletons from the family closet. I felt like I had the starring role in an Alan Bennet play. It was awful. The news, which I have no choice but to pass on, will reverberate around the family for some time. The more I think about it the further I can envisage the shockwave and repercussions spreading.

It would appear that the cancer that took my cousin’s life is genetically linked.

Eventually it dawned on me that I would be have to tell the rest of the family. Withholding this little nugget of information could cost a family member or two their lives.

It’s no way to start a holiday.

We decided to have an early night.

As I carried out my evening ablutions I realised that my dead cousin’s toothbrush, make up wipes and other womanly paraphernalia were dotted around the bathroom.

As I walked into our bedroom for the evening the first thing my eyes fell on was an urn. Oh no! It can’t be! It was. An urn with my dead cousin’s ashes in it – in front of the urn were the dried flowers from her wedding. Her dressing gown hung on the door and the fan that cooled her as she lay dying was on the bedside table next to her bed, the bed we were about to sleep in. Oh!!! No no no no no no!!

I loved my cousin dearly. I understand what an honour it was that her husband allowed us not only to stay in their house but in their bedroom but OH MY GOD! Boofuls and I were both extremely uncomfortable with the whole situation. I felt like I was desecrating a shrine. Why oh why didn’t we stay in a hotel as we’d planned?

So there we are, dear reader. Our plans for a pleasant evening with family turned into a major life event, the ripples from which will be spreading out far and wide for some time.

A perfect example of life getting in the way of living.

This was only day one of this trip. Tune in later for more tales from the same trip.


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