It’s fair to say that I’m not a woman best known for my patience. Neither do I tolerate fools easily. In fact, when they gave out tolerance and patience I’m not even sure I was in the queue.
Bearing in mind recent events, my tolerance level has dropped even lower; to that of a wasp suffering PMT on a low bio rhythm day.
Thinking that I’d feel better if I blew off some energy instead of moping around and feeling miserable I went to our local leisure centre for the geriatrics zumba class. You can’t beat zumba for getting the heart thumping, the hips wiggling and the endorphins pumping.
Zumba = energy, latin music, elements of dance, perfect work out.
Now there aren’t many advantages to being over fifty but cheap entrance to the leisure centre fitness classes is one of them. I stood around in my lycra pants and pristine white, brand spanking new trainers and waited with anticipation for the instructor to arrive and to getting stuck in to some hard core zumba.
The instructor walked in.
Uh? That’s not who I was expecting.
The usual trainer completely ignores the fact that she has a group with a combined age of about 3000 in front of her and carries out a normal zumba class. By the time it’s finished you think you’re going to die. I like that.
Today’s trainer walked in and spoke to us with that patronising, head tilted to one side, high pitched and slow voice that made me think she thought we were thick in the head as well as thick in the waist. “We’ll start with some warm ups. Rooollllllllll those shoulders. There we are. Doesn’t that feel better?”
I felt my blood starting to boil. Get to the zumba, woman.
Her music was straight from the ’80’s – the 1880’s. Ok, slight exaggeration but it was rubbish. Lilting, gentle and yawn inducing. Where’s my latin music?
” Now then, lift those arms and claaaap. There we go.”
It started to dawn on me that there was no zumba imminent. I hate aerobics.
“Slide and claaaaap. Rest if you need to or hold on to the wall.”
Fer fudge sake!!
I tried, to enjoy it I really did. All the time I was swinging my arms gently from side to side and feeling like a dweeb I was thinking, don’t be churlish, it’s all exercise, it’s all good, finish the class, don’t be rude, you can’t just leave.
Fudge it. I left.