John Bull please

What do you mean what’s a John Bull?
It’s a delicious and nutritious delicacy. Ok, it is delicious but it’s not so much nutritious as a heart attack waiting to happen and delicate? Well, not so much.

Today happens to be Boofuls’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOOFULS!!

As it’s his birthday it’s up to him to decide what he wants to do from a dazzling array of options.

This morning’s option, once we’d finished work, was to choose from lunch at his favourite cafe, lunch at a posh restaurant follow d by a game of golf or whatever else he decided to do.

Lunch was a piece of cake and a nap.

The plan for this evening was for him to go out with Lashes and The Prof for a game of bingo. I offered to watch some paint dry as I thought it would be the better option.

BoofuLs decided he didn’t want to leave me alone on his birthday so he isn’t doing that either.

Poor old Lashes is at the end of her tether with him, all she wants to do is give him a lovely day on his birthday and all he wants to do is sleep.

This afternoon we thought we might go out for tea (dinner to you posh folk) since we didn’t get out for lunch (which is dinner to us poor folk). He didn’t want to do that.

Options then changed to, do you want pie, mash and beans or a takeaway, or a roast dinner, or a ……whatever. His reply was; “what do you want?”
It’s not my birthday, just decide.”

“I can’t”.

Eventually, just when I’d go to the point of wanting to inflict physical violence he decided he’d like a chinese takeaway.

During the conversations about what to eat I suggested John Bull and chips. Nom nom nom.

The Prof looked at me with his disbelieving face.

“John Bull, you’re making that up, there’s no such thing”.

If you are anything like the Prof then I expect that you are imagining a stout little man with a red face and a union flag waistcoat, not unlike a Toby jug – and you’d be correct, that is indeed John Bull. However, the John Bull I’m talking about is the edible one.

Still not convinced there is any such thing? Well, you doubting Thomas’s, let’s sort out this out once and for all.

Feast your eyes on this:

Cor lumme, I can feel my arteries clogging just watching that! All it needs is a pile of chippy chips and a huge dollop of mushy peas.

Hmm, it just goes to show that you can take the girl out of the north but can you totally take the north out of the girl?

Maybe not.



4 thoughts on “John Bull please”

  1. I’m finally here reading and writing, so I had to go back and read some of your stuff. Miss you Lesley!

    FASCINATING!!! Now I want a John Bull…but dare I ask what ‘savory meats’ are?

    Hilarious on the Veggie Bull, cooked side by side with the John Bull. Some people would freak out about that.

    VERY happy belated bday, Boofuls! I’d choose to sleep, too. 🙂

    1. It’s generally better not to ask what savoury meats are. I think it’s about the same as the content of a supermarket sausage. Yuk.
      However, I think what this chap means by savoury meats is minced beef with seasoning. Very tasty.

      Totally agree with you about the veggie version being cooked in the same fat. Only last week we nearly had a kitchen disaster when boofuls unthinkingly picked up a muslim chaps pancake with the bacon tongs. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”, I shouted a fraction too late. The whole meal had to be thrown away as we couldn’t possibly serve it.

      It has been suggested that they would never have known, but I’d have known and had to live with the fact that I’d betrayed their trust. Instead I cussed under my breath and cooked new pancakes.

      1. Good choice! I would have done the same.

        Thanks for the answer on the savoury meats. Seasoned beef is OK. I could never do steak and kidney pie, no matter how often it comes up in an Agatha Raisin book…

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