Just a little housekeeping note:
I keep this blog as my own diary. For my own amusement. If you are reading this as an email it is because YOU have set your settings to receive it. Please feel free to alter your settings.
Moving on before I start a full on rant.
Emotions have been up and down so much in the last few weeks that it’s hard to keep up.
As you know, dear reader, Boofuls has been ill. Not only ill but on death’s doorstep. Having been diagnosed with COPD, atrial fibrillation, a buggered ventricle ( medical term) and pulmonary fibrosis we have been expecting the worst to happen. The poor chap has been struggling to cope with just breathing. Anything beyond that has been impossible.
So. The COPD, well, not a surprise there. The atrial fibrillation, ok, it’s not responding to treatment so a quick plug into the mains to jolt his heart into submission will hopefully sort that out. The ventricle, well, that’s been working so hard for so long no wonder it’s tired. With a bit of luck that will recover a bit after the heart has resumed normal service. What about this pulmonary fibrosis?
Dropped into the conversation casually by the practice nurse. She made it sound fairly innocuous. Obviously, I googled it.
Well, that’s a killer.
Combine it with a good dose of COPD and a heart that’s already struggling and that is not good news.
There’s a heady mix of emotions right there. Keeping the game face on in front of guests isn’t always the easiest of tasks but on the whole I’ve managed it.
I deliberately kept it all very low key. Only immediate family and a couple of friends knew the seriousness of the situation. There was enough to deal with without the phone pinging every few minutes with people wanting to know what was happening. I didn’t have the brain power, time or strength to be placating anyone it didn’t immediately effect.
To my amazement, people came out of the woodwork. Word spreads fast in our little B&B community. Hoteliers popped in or phoned or texted to ask if I needed shopping doing, the dog walking, help with the rooms, washing up, cooking, even painting and decorating. Considering all these people are our competitors and it’s the height of the summer season, we were blown away by their kindness. What a lot of pressure it took off our shoulders while Boofuls was unable even to walk upstairs never mind work or while I had to take him to a hospital appointment. I could go knowing I was leaving the place in safe and experienced hands.
Boofuls had to have a high resolution ct scan. While he went in for his scan I sat on a bench outside. A man who’s wife had also just gone in for a scan came out. “Do you mind if I sit here?” I did but thought it might be rude to say so so I invited him to sit.
We sat in silence for a minute. Then he said, “Is it a tumour?” I knew instantly he was referring to Boofuls. I filled him in with the diagnosis. The man just nodded. After a moment I asked him if his wife had a tumour. “She’s riddled with it.” Again, a nod of the head said all that there was to say. Hanging in the air was the sadness and acceptance that we were both going to lose our loved ones. There were no tears, no anger, no need for a brave face or platitudes. Just acceptance. It struck me after that I’d just had a hospice type conversation and the sadness of it all affected me deeply for several days after.
My melancholy was swept away by the imminent arrival of baby Dougal. Lashes was summoned to the hospital to have her labour induced. What a palaver that was. Without sharing all the gory details let’s just skip straight to: After three days baby Dougal finally made his very dramatic entrance into the world. Beardy guy and I supported her all the way through it. 25 hours with no sleep was worth it for the look of love on Lashes’ face when she met baby for the first time. We all wept like babies with joy and relief while the actual baby slept through all the excitement.
Boofuls had to back to hospital for the results of his ct scan.
We were dreading what they were going to say.
What they actually said was: “They made a mistake. It’s not pulmonary fibrosis, it’s fluid on your lungs. We can fix that.”
There are no words, just more tears of relief.
That was the best present ever for Boofuls’ birthday. It was also the day that Lashes and Baby Dougal got home after five days in hospital. We quietly celebrated while Boofuls and Dougal both slept the day away.
Now that the imminent danger had passed for Boofuls I decided to share on Facebook the good news without going into too much detail and to thank those who had stepped in to help, often at a moments notice.
As I suspected would happen, my phone ping, ping, pinged none stop. Messages wishing him well poured in. Dozens and dozens of people sent messages. People phoned. People asked for more information. It was bonkers. It was lovely to see how much everyone cared but exhausting. Thank God I didn’t do it sooner.
Warning!! Playground brawl alert. Feel free to ignore this next section. I just need to get it out of my head.
Out of all the messages of goodwill was one snarky comment. I’ve got quite used to snarky comments from this person but even I was surprised to see one about this.
It was from a person who was aggrieved that she hadn’t been informed about what was going on and furious that we had accepted help from others but that I hadn’t asked her. For the record, I didn’t ask anyone, they all came to us.
For my part, I was furious when I discovered through a third party that she already knew about it all because she had read my previous blog post here but chose not to react in any way. She just gossiped about it.
Is that really what a friend does?
When I got accused of emailing the post to her because “You wanted me to see that.” I was incandescent.
Do you really think I have the time, energy or inclination to play such stupid and childish games? ( my comment at the top of the page makes sense now, eh?)
So it is with a great deal of sadness and a fair amount of relief that I have finally ended what used to be a very close friendship. We go back almost fifty years but in recent times it has become just too exhausting to continue with.
So, all in all it has been a week of high emotions, swinging wildly from one extreme to the other. Up one minute and down the next.
All the time the guests at Boofuls’ Lodging Emporium have been oblivious that anything at all has happened.
We have managed to hold it all together and Boofuls is even a tiny bit better. Today is a good day. Let’s hope tomorrow is as well.