Category Archives: 2012

Wintry weather


The weather men have even threatened us with snow. Snow! Yaaaaaaay!


It hasn’t arrived yet though, just a cold and biting wind, lovely frosty mornings and zero temperatures. According to my car it was -4 this morning. My bum certainly knew it was -4 when I got in the aforementioned car and sat on the lovely shiny black leather seat.


Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to put leather seats in a car? Unless they make a bum warmer that knows you’re going to get in the car ten minutes before you actually do it and gets the seat all nice and toasty for your rear end then they should definitely keep away from leather seats. Leather seats? I’ll take the sheepskin, thanks.


It’s been more than a bit parky for my nether regions, they’re wondering  what’s going on, they’re not used to being cold. Bbbbrrrrrrrrrr.


I’ll be investing in a nice fluffy seat cover before too much longer, I think. In the meantime I’ll be putting a nice thick, radiator warmed towel on the seat. Who cares if passers by think I’m incontinent. At least I’ll have a warm bum.








You look like you’ve seen a giant chocolate biscuit

Oooooooooh. There was a bit of excitement at  a town near us during the summer.

The chef Heston Blumenthal came to give the entire town a tea break. If you don’t know about Heston then click here for all you need to know. Ah yes, Heston’s fantastical food, along with an entourage of  rather scary tea ladies, a pack of biscuits so big it had to be helicoptered in, a tea bag 5000 times larger than your average tea bag and a giant teapot to brew up in, all descended Darwen for a tea party.

Of course he didn’t just do it all for fun. It was all being recorded to be shown on tv during the long winter evenings. The winter evening in question was last week.

Len, Lashes and Munki all went down to join the party. Well, bugger me if they didn’t end up on the telly!

Munki didn’t look totally impressed, unlike Len.  Isn’t his face a picture? I had to keep playing it over and over again, it made me laugh for ages. He looks like he’s just seen a man eating  a giant chocolate biscuit.

Oooh, the winter evenings will just fly by with gems like this to keep us amused!

Nothing to say

Funny isn’t it? So much happens in life but when I sit down at my computer to write a blog post about my day I can find absolutely nothing to say.

I used to be able to sit down and write an amusing little post about nothing at all.

Do you think I’m suffering from writer’s block?

Well, my plan of action is just to sit and type away and see what comes out, hopefully the act of actually sitting here in front of the computer will fill me with inspiration.

Ooh, I think it’s working – I’ve thought of something!

Velcrodog start his dance lessons tomorrow, also known as heelwork to music, I’m sure he would be excited if he knew anything about it but as it is I’m excited enough for both of us. And no, before you ask, we will not be performing on Britain’s got talent at any point in the future. He’s already got quite a repertoire of tricks. Munki and me were singing, ‘How much is that doggie in the window’ earlier and Velcrodog was barking to order in the correct place. When we’ve polished that up a bit I’ll record it for you.

Actually, tomorrow will hopefully be a nice day all day, being Tuesday it’s paso doble day. Yay! The only thing keeping me sane over the last few months has been going for nice long head clearing walks with Velcrodog and laughing my socks off during out Tuesday dance lessons. We produce enough endorphins during that hour to keep the men in white coats away from the door for another week. Mind you, if the men in white coats could see us laughing I’m sure they’d lock us up anyway. We’re like a bunch of nutcases.

Here’s hoping that we all manage to have a stress free and pleasant Tuesday. We’ll worry about Wednesday when it arrives.

Has anyone seen my mojo?

I seem to have lost it.  It’s usually up on the moors but I had a good look for it this morning while  Velcrodog and me watched the sun rise but I couldn’t even find it there.

Without mojo. Mojoless. Sans mojo.  Hope I find it again soon.

In the meantime, enjoy the photos of the sunrise, it was lovely. There may have been one or two little effects applied. You have to love a Lomo app.


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Here, there and everywhere

So what have I been up to for the last little while? Well. A bit of this that and the other.

It’s been a packed couple of weeks. So much has happened that I can’t even remember what to tell you. So, let’s have a think…….

We went to Blackpool for a couple of nights with bezzie mate and her hubby. The reason for the trip was Boofuls’ birthday. I’d bought him tickets to see Kevin Bloody Wilson.  I didn’t really fancy it – a bit laddish for my taste so i bought 4 tickets thinking he could go with The Rev, Big N and Len. When bezzie mate heard about my plan she squealed at me, “NOOOOOO!! I want to go and see that. Tell you what, we’ll book us a hotel for us all for the weekend, Our treat.”

So that’s how I came to be sat in a theatre in Blackpool practically choking with laughter at the most raucous show I’ve ever seen, Kevin Bloody Wilson and his daughter, Jenny Talia.

The audience was an incredibly mixed bag. The only thing that everyone had in common was a bawdy sense of humour and the urge to shout out DILLIGAF at regular intervals. Highbrow it was not. Funny? I nearly bought a round!

Ah, DILLIGAF. It’s one of those ‘sticky’ songs that once you have it stuck in your head it’s there for days. Soooorrreeeeeeee if you just watched it. Teeheheehee.

What a weekend,. Blooming marvellous, it took us three days to recover.

Since then it’s all been bloody downhill.

Work has been busy, busy, busy. Having made the decision not to chase any more wedding work, I now have more weddings booked than we’ve ever had. Bizzare, eh? I’ve also taken on a new string to my bow as the official baby photographer for this area. Aaaaaww, I love teeny, tiny, squishy babies. My feet haven’t touched the floor workwise for a couple of weeks. Silly as it sounds, less than halfway through November, the Christmas rush is over now so everything should ease off  for a while, anyway.

As for the last few days:

Last Thursday. I don’t even know what to  say about Thursday. All our love to all concerned.

Last weekend. Oh. Last weekend. Where do we even start? You now what? Let’s gloss over last Friday as being too horrific to even glance backwards at and move straight on to Saturday – to my cousin’s wedding.

Bitter-sweet in the extreme as we’d attended the bride’s Mum’s funeral just five weeks ago. ‘Nuff said.

Sunday, on our way home from ‘down south’ we got some news from Winklepop that shook us to the core. Luckily, that one had a happy ending. Hugs to Winklepop.

Monday, typically, just as my passport is away for my CRB check  I could really have done with it to dash over to Spain. So frustrating. Again. ‘Nuff said.

Isn’t this the most boring post ever? Sorry. I just don’t want to gossip about other people’s business on here but I need the catharsis of writing it down.

On our way to our dance lesson this morning Boofuls noticed I was a rather less ebullient than normal. “What’s wrong?” he enquired.

” I feel like a piece of crispy bacon. Frazzled and likely to snap at any moment.”

Boring, life is not. Don’t even ask me about how the sale of our house is progressing,  I may just lose the plot completely.


Crawl, scrape, ow!

It still feels like we’re crawling over broken glass on the route selling our house. Why does it all have to be so sodding stressful?

As soon as we get over one obstacle, we meet another.

As for the game playing; ‘offer ’em far less that they want and we’ll bat it backwards and forwards for a few weeks.’ Well, that game you can stick right up your…..ear.

What’s wrong with just doing business openly, honestly and with respect for the other person. I’m not a big fan of power games or word games – and I’m certainly not impressed by ill-mannered little men who suffer from LMS and think I should be impressed by their job. Well I’m not, ya name dropping glorified taxi driver so sod off.

Rant over *tries to stop steam coming out of ears as  it’s just not ladylike*


I’m awake.

Whaaaa….?  Watimeizzit?

Half past four? In the morning? Jeez, I never knew there was such a time, I always thought it was a myth.

I’ll roll over and go back to sleep.

It sounded like a plan. Sleep, however,  had other ideas;

O sleep! O gentle sleep!
Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?

And so I lay in my bed counting sheep ad infinitum while knowing full well that slumber had got a better offer and left me to my own devices. After half an hour or so the best plan seemed to be to get up and start work. So I did.

I worked like a woman possessed, a maniac, a whirling dervish on a mission. My God, I’m even up to date with this years accounts. I wouldn’t normally start them till next august!

So where did this energy come from?

Well, the answer to that comes earlier, the previous day, in fact.

We attended, as we do so many times a year, a wedding fayre. Nothing new there,  except that it was the last of this season and the last ever –  for us.

That might seem like business suicide as 90% of the business comes from wedding fayres but I’ve had a niggle for some time that it’s time to explore other avenues.  I was sad to say goodbye to the other exhibitors who have become friends over the years and at the same time worried and scared about what the future is going to bring but  sometimes you have to let something go in order to pick something else up.

My gut feeling tells me it’s the right decision. I’m not sure Boofuls agrees with me but as normal he is supporting me completely.

So when I woke up in the early hours I felt released, energised, excited, scared and full of ideas for our future – and you know what. I think it’s looking rosy!


Bzzzz Beeeeepbeeepbeeeep

Holy crap! I think my toothbrush is possessed!

After failing to turn on when I tried to use it in the morning, meaning that I had to brush my teeth the old fashioned way, I left it on it’s charger thinking the battery must be flat and got on with the rest of my day.

At some point during the night I wok up with a jolt as my toothbrush turned itself on! Whaaaaat?  I snatched it off it’s charger, quickly turning it off before. My hear was racing and my adrenalin rising fast. I did a quick check round the room for ghosts, demons, ghoulies (That’s ghoulies not goolies – don’t be rude!) and poltergeists, it is nearly halloween after all, and went back to sleep. Only to be woken a while later by exactly the same again.

Dear God! What’s going on? Is the thing possessed?

This time I removed it from the charger and left it on the windowsill where it spent the rest of the night without causing any further disturbances.

Yesterday morning I popped it back onto it’s charger. This time it didn’t turn itself on but instead spent the whole day singing a little Beeeeep beep beep song.

I think my toothbrush has developed a personality disorder. In the meantime until I menage to get a new one I’m think I may have to continue cleaning my teeth the old fashioned way. Yuk.



Summertiiiiiiime and the living is easy

You have to love summer, the warmth from the sun on your back, lounging around in the garden having afternoon tea with family, swatting away wasps… Wait. What? Something’s wrong.

It’s not summer at all, it’s October. What’s going on?

The sun is blazing away like a blazing thing – brighter and hotter than it’s been all summer. We’re all holding our hands over our eyes and screaming that we can’t stand the brightness! Ok, that’s not strictly true but it’s not far off, we aren’t used to sunshine. All we usually get is shades of grey ( not THAT shades of grey – badly written twaddle that it is. I had to read all three books before I made up my mind about it though). On a good day the best we usually get here is a murky grey – on a bad day it’s more of a charcoal grey. I’m always amazed at how bright the colours are when we’re on holiday.

Anyway, back to the plot.

This afternoon we spent a lovely afternoon with The Rev, Gembolina, DD, Batty and Big N. It was one of the nicest days of the year. I’m so confused.

Oh well, I’m not going to waste energy thinking about it, I’m just going to be thankful we had it to enjoy at this late stage  in the year.

We had a fabulous sunset the other night, I certain promise of a nice day to follow. I bet the shepherds were beyond delighted, I bet they were delirious with joy when they saw this sunset.

Amazing sunset, Shot on iphone 4 with instagram
Amazing sunset, Shot on iphone 4 with instagram

Th dog enjoyed it as well, he sat on the wall and just watched, every  now and then he’d look round to make sure I was still there. I think I should call him velcro dog.

Amazing sunset and amazing dog. Shot on iphone 4 with instagram

Talking of late in the year,  if the prediction that Boofuls and me were to move house before Christmas is going to come true then it’s cutting it a bit fine. Still hovering on the brink of having sold our house, the painfully slow pace feels a bit like crawling over broken glass.  I wish they’d get their finger out and get on with it, the frustration is killing me – and I’ve been psyching myself up all year for not sending another Christmas in this house, now I just want to get moved so please…send us your positive house moving vibes. We need all the help we can get at the moment.

A couple of odd things have happened this week. That’s odd in a nice way, not odd in a “Oh bloody hell!’ kind of way.

It turns out that our local bank has closed down. Thanks for telling us, guys. The first I knew about it was when I went to pay in a cheque the other day. Oh well, I suppose a trip to the nearby big town won’t kill me. Actually, I was amazed and delighted to see the Thwaites dray horses. I haven’t seen them for years, not since I was a kid, when I used to see them all the time delivering beer to local pubs. They are just as splendid as I remembered them. These big, lovely, friendly  shire horses drew people to them like magnets. The carriage drivers smiled from ear to ear, proud of their horses in all their regalia and enjoying the attention just as much. It really made my day. Aren’t they gorgeous?

Thwaites dray horses
Thwaites brewery

The next odd thing to happen was on Friday morning when bezzie mate and me decided to investigate a new furniture and gift store. As we pulled up outside the shop we saw a group of polar bears walking up the road. Wut?

I rubbed my eyes and took another look. Yup, it was polar bears alright. This one kindly posed for a photo for me. He must be called Usain Bear.

Usain Bear

You couldn’t make it up!


I’m not normally one for criticising the police, I think they do a good job under increasingly difficult conditions. However, it would appear that the police in Lancashire could do with sending some of their officers for eye tests, or common sense tests. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read the story about a blind stroke victim being tasered by the policeman who mistook the man’s white stick for a samurai sword. Easy mistake to make I suppose – if you’re a moron. I can’t imagine the terror this poor man must have felt.  Read the whole story here.