Category Archives: santa

Winter wonderland


Well, there’s snow…. and then there’s SNOW!!!!!!!

I was going to take a photo to show you how much more snow has fallen overnight but it’s snowing so hard that you won’t see anything except, well, snow.  Fook.

That’s made Christmas Day a tad more tricky.  The plan of course was for everyone to come and visit us at the top of the big hill.  The trouble is that now they won’t be able to get up the big hill and neither can we get our car off the track so a change of plan is required.

Plan B is for B and me to walk to P & G’s. The thinking being that it’s easier for the two of us to get to them than for all 7 of them, including baby Ellie to walk up to us.  Gembolina and me will cook dinner at her house. Problem solved – except for the kids’ gifts – I might have to put them all in a big sack and trudge through the streets to P & G’s like a sad, lost, underdressed and transgender   Santa. Ho sodding ho.

Ask me how N is going to get to work today and tomorrow? Go on, ask me.

No bloody idea is the answer to that. Hopefully the roads will be ok. His choices then will be to walk to the main road and then get a ridiculously priced Christmas Eve/Day taxi the rest of the way or  go the whole way by Shanks’s pony.

Even with all this snow caused disruption, I’m still looking out of the window thrilled to see so much snow falling. What is it about snow? No matter how much havoc it causes, I still love it. It’s magical.

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Lets Partaaaaaaaayyy!!!!


So, back to Friday night’s birthday party.  I suddenly regretted wearing vertiginously heeled sandals when I got to the venue and realised that the car park was ankle deep in snow.  Slipping and  sliding our way to the door while holding up a couple of smallish children was tricky to say the least.

As we got to the door and pushed our way through the small throng of smokers, we were hit by the noise that was making the walls jump. It was HORRENDOUSLY LOUD!!!!!!!  Sorry, had to shout over the noise there.

Pushing our way further,  into the room I suddenly noticed Steph in an ante room so went in there to chat for a few minutes about her latest, very juicy gossip.  Honestly, if you put this stuff in a book it would be slated as being too far fetched!!  Next, my big bro and his missus arrived so they joined us, as did  P, C, N and sister Sue. At that point I noticed a table of pensioners trying to have a meal in peace. Oops. I apologised profusely to them for disturbing their meal and then realised they must have been listening in to the conversation I’d just had regarding the gossip.  Bugger it, I’m surprised they didn’t have a heart attack listening to that little lot, no wonder they looked a bit flushed.

We tried to find seats in the party room but there was no chance and to be honest, I only like that amount of noise if I’m making it, so we went back into the room we just came from and bagged a table.

The karaoke was in full swing, most of the singers were passable, some were laughable, one caught my attention and made me leave my seat to get up and go for a look.

I was stunned to see my 17 year old niece singing, ‘Killing me softly’. Far from killing it, she sang the best rendition of it I’ve ever heard in my entire life.  Both her Mum and Dad are excellent singers and she has obviously inherited the singing gene from them both. Her voice is deep, rich, earthy and soulful. The room was silent as she sang. What a talent, she needs to be discovered – and soon!!  I thought Steph was a good singer but Bec knocks spots off her.

When she finished singing, the room erupted. Far from enjoying the limelight as she thoroughly deserved to do – she bowed her head modestly and scuttled away, embarrassed at the attention. I’m going to try and get a recording of her singing so you don’t have to take my word for it, she’s amazing.

As I returned to our group, Bob was deep in conversation with brother in law and a woman I didn’t know. Not a surprise, that as we didn’t know most of the people there.  Shortly after that the buffet table opened and I took the kids for a plateful of goodies.

It was at that point my previous experience as a trainer of body language ( not to mention my wifely spider senses) kicked in and I noticed the dynamics between B and the woman he was chatting with.  I alerted C to the situation and we watched highly amused as B, sporting a slightly pained expression, kept stepping slightly to the side, away from this woman, who promptly then positioned herself back directly in front of him, clearly thrilled to be in his presence and obviously trying her best to impress him, there was much preening and hair tossing going on (from the woman, not B – just thought it best to clarify).

Heeheeheeeeeeee  Bobby pulled!!!!

C and me continued to watch as this woman and B eventually went round in a complete circle, her like a little, tubby, miniskirted, cowboy hat wearing satellite and with B’s expression becoming more and more strained.  I think after 1 1/2 orbits she was eventually called away.

More about this story later. The snow has arrived with a vengeance and I have to go and grit the track again with B.

TTFN (again)

I’m Baaaacck!!!!

While I was in the main room watching the karaoke I noticed that there was an old man next to the huge fireplace and small fire.  He was very old and wizened, snuggled up and leaning against the wall. His eyes were closed and he didn’t seem to react at all to the noise or people pushing past him. I wonder if he was a permanent fixture in the pub? I hope he was asleep and not dead. He might have been dead there for hours and no one would notice unless he actually fell of the stool which was obviously keeping him propped up.

The rest of the evening past by fairly uneventfully. The journey home was interesting. P,C,N,S,O and D all wanted to leave with us which hadn’t been the plan at all. We crammed everyone into the car, it’s a good job it’s a big one, and set off back home.

On the way home the conversation turned to the masturbating santa attached to a house on, ironically enough, Pole Lane.  It’s supposed to be skiing but I can tell you that that’s absolutely not how it looks, that caused much hilarity along with some totally inappropriate banter which left me shouting, “I’m your MOTHER, how can you possible think that’s appropriate conversation?” and Liv with her hands over her ears.

Logging on to Facebook Saturday morning I discovered that Ms satellite had invited B and me to be her friends.

Hhmmm, let me think about that – ok, I’ve thought, That’d be a no.

Christmas Buddies






Ove the years Bob and me have amassed many a Christmas decoration. I usually pick something up from any holidays and I seem to be totally incapable of walking past a Christmas shop without going in to it, no matter what time of year it is. Of course I still have all the ones the kids made when they were little all of which bring back lovely memories.


Of all our I’d have to say that these little chaps are my absolute favourites, my Christmas buddies.  We saw them while we were on a weekend away in the Peak District a couple of years ago and I instantly fell in love with them.  I can’t look at them without smiling – and that can only be a good thing, eh?