Tag Archives: beach

Joke of the day


Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl have a wee?
Because the p is silent!!
Hooohoohoo, heeheeheee. Made me laugh for ages, that one!
That was one of Munki’s jokes. Not bad for a seven year old, eh?

Dougie the doggie and I managed to while away almost three hours on the beach today. When I realised it was starting to dark I hurried home thinking that Boofuls would think I’d been carried off by the circus or something.

How did I manage to spend almost three hours on a beach in the middle of winter?

Easy.

The tide was out so Douggie and I paddled all the way round the coast, clambering over rocks, marvelling at hermit crabs scuttling around with their homes on their backs, searching for sea glass and pebbles shaped like penguins. We found a baby starfish! It only had two arms, the others were little nubbly bits just starting to grow. It didn’t look so much like a star fish as a propellor. I put it under a piece of seaweed for safe keeping hoping that it wouldn’t get trampled to death by one of the many galloping hounds on the beach today. Dougie of course tried his best to get to it so I distracted him by throwing stones into the water for him to chase. I have to throw stones because if I throw a ball he won’t bring it back. As a retriever he’s pretty rubbish. I should probably explain to him again that he’s a golden RETRIEVER the clue’s in the name, really.

The sun shone onto the ripples in the sand making the beach glint and shine. I spent far too much time moving around trying to find which way the light gave the best effect. Some of the other beach walkers must have though I was doing some weird yoga exercise in my wellies and waterproofs and I crouched low and moved left and right, bobbing and weaving while I stared at the ground. The buildings high up on the hill were reflected in the puddles on the sand. Again, I moved this way and that trying to get the best image. I would have taken a photo but my phone died a watery death a couple of weeks ago and I don’t want to lug a big, professional camera around with me…

Wait…what…did I say my phone died a watery death a few weeks ago? Why, yes, dear reader, I did.

But…didn’t your phone die a watery death just a few months ago? Why, yes again, dear reader. My, what a good memory you have.

This time it was somewhat more dignified than last time when it fell out of my back pocket and into the loo. This time it fell out of my coat pocket and into the sea. Nonetheless, the ed result was the same. Instant death.

Still, let’s not dwell on that. Let’s return to our afternoon on the beach.

The sun cast warm, long shadows, the clouds turned pink and the sea lapped gently on the shore shining blue, pink or green depending on how the light hit it. I stood fascinated by it all while Doggie found himself a nice little spaniel to flirt with. people strolled up and down. As I so often am, I was stuck by how many people wear black. It look like a funeral director’s day out. The dark clothes looked at odds with the beautiful, dancing, ever changing light that the elements had treated us too but it seemed like I was the only person to notice.

Eventually the sun dropped down behind the hill and the gorgeous light changed to a soft, violet grey. At that point I shivered and realised I must have been out for hours.

So there you are. That’s how easy it is to spend a whole,afternoon on a beach. A bit of imagination, the company of a dog and some lovely weather. Not a bad way to spend the afternoon.

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A few photos


Here are a few photos from our ill fated trip to wales last weekend.

At a cost of over £300 by the time we’d totted up the hotel including the extra night we didn’t stay for, the petrol, competition fees for the competition we ended up not competing in, et. etc.  these are working out at some damned expensive phone photos. Enjoy.

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside


Well, kiss me quick and roll my trousers up to my knees, I’m going for a paddle.

Me, Douggie the doggie and Boofuls went to sunny St Anne’s today to go for a stroll along the prom prom prom where the brass band played; tiddly om pom pom – except that we didn’t and neither did they.

Instead we went to a brilliant cafe; the Pier Cafe,  that advertised itself as dog friendly. Got to be worth a look. I sincerely hoped that meant we could take the dog inside and not just be relegated to the outside tables, I was freezing. So, did  I say the the sign said dog friendly?

Dog obsessed it should have said. What an amazing welcome, it was lovely.

All the staff were called from behind the counter to come and admire Douggie then we were shown to the best (inside) table in the house. Yay!

A bowl of water was brought immediately to our table and a sausage was offered for Douggie the doggie’s culinary delectation.  We, the humans had to wait to be served while the dog was fawned over for a good ten minutes. Not that he enjoyed the attention or anything, you understand.  Pppsssht!!!

That dog certainly knows how to turn on the charm and have the ladies (and a few men) swooning.  All he has to do is turn those limpid, dark brown, triangular eyes on a person and they’re putty in his paws. Two more people joined the mile long queue for ownership of the dog if we ever get fed up of him (not likely).

After a very delicious and nutritious lunch of fish, chips and mushy peas……What?

No, of course we couldn’t have anything else a bit classier, we were at the seaside, fish and chips is mandatory. Almost the law in fact – along with kiss me quick hats, candy floss and those doughnuts that smell gorgeous but taste awful. There’s no finesse in a Lancashire seaside town, even if it is St Annes which admittedly is a lot more poshe than Blackpool which has become a proper den of iniquity in recent years.

Anyway, I digress. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. After our lunch of fish, chips and mushy peas, we made our way onto a sunny,  windy  and freezing cold beach. It was certainly bracing. The tide was well out and Douggie had miles and miles of sand to run, hop, skip, dig and roll around on. He loved it, as did we.

It was a lovely afternoon. Just what we needed to blow a few cobwebs away.

St Anne’s


What a brilliant day we had at St Anne’s. Not Blackpool? Oh no, dear reader, We’re far too posh for Blackpool. No kiss me quick hats and stag parties for us. Oh dear me, no.

We joined the more select crowd at St Anne’s on sea. You get a far better class of day tripper there.

What can I tell you? The sun shone, the sand got where it had absolutely no right to get, the ice cream melted and the clingons made sand castles. Just about a perfect bucket and spade day.

I *heart* the beach

AS you can see it wasn’t packed full of people. Well, actually it was but 95% of them stayed up by the prom, all huddled together like lemmings, getting in each others space and losing their kids in the general melee.  Those of us who prefer a bit more peace and quiet ( and the fact that we sneaked a dog onto the beach when there are signs everywhere saying  ‘no dogs between April and October’ ) went further out towards the sea.

It would have been nice to have gone right up to it but it must have panicked at the sight of all the wobbly thighs and rolls of flesh hanging  out of the tops of shorts and skimpy vests and beat a hasty retreat.  Just like it always is  in Southport, it was bloody miles away, shimmering invitingly like a mirage in the distance. Eager kids with buckets and spades occasionally ran past us to go and get some water for their sandcastle moats but came back 10 minutes later crestfallen, buckets still as dry as a desert.

Normally during the summer holidays I get to spend quite a lot of time with the clingons but for one reason or another it just hasn’t happened this year so today was my ‘end of the hols’ treat for the kids.

First stop: Ice cream and buckets and spades

Second stop: Beach

Beach shoes

Sand castles were dug (sans moat) the dog was chased round by the kids, the kids were chased round by the dog and I was chased round by all of them. No chance of sitting and reading a book with this lot.

Soon it was time for lunch. The only down side of the day. The railway carriage cafe, which used to be a fave of mine and Boofuls has gone seriously downhill. After a 45 minute wait for our food to arrive it was awful.  I didn’t think it could be possible to make a bad salad – but they did – it was inedible. They’d poured cheap, runny, vinegary mayonnaise all over lettuce, tomato and cucumber, thrown on a few greasy croutons and called it a caesar salad. Caesar salad my ar…….. whoops! Children present.  Their food wasn’t really any better,  except that the chicken nuggets were actually made out of chicken. That redeemed them a bit, I suppose.

After lunch we bought a few more beach essential toys and went back on the beach, the kids went on a donkey ride, bungee trampolined, went in big bubble thingy’s on the lake and then went for more food and generally had a great time.

Just one small note to self: Next time leave the dog at home. She was like a possessed thing. The unfamiliar sounds, smells, sights and general excitement made her lose the plot completely. She lunged at the donkeys, wanting to play with them.  Chased a small boy with a football, wanting to play with him. Burst Dangerous D’s beach ball after about 30 seconds.  It was like she had sodding ADHD. Bring on the doggy ritalin!

As for a years worth of obedience training well, that went right out the window. My arms were damn near pulled out of their sockets.  It’s a poor do when you’re having to pay more attention to the dog than to the disabled  child in your care. The pursed lips and shaking heads of other day trippers advertised their disapproval as I fought for control with a dog who’d lost the plot. More than once I could have cheerfully planted my foot right up her backside.

After the ‘chasing the small boy’ incident I put into play my limited dog training experience and when she finally came back to me I wordlessly clipped her lead on and walked her back to where we’d been sitting, totally ignoring her all the way.  We both sat down, dog still on the lead, while I chatted with the clingons.  After about a minute, the dog came right up to me, put her face really close to mine and looked me straight in the eye as if to say, ‘I’m really sorry.’   Heartmelting.

cloud formation

I took this photo because believe it or not there are three planes flying on formation in it. Yup. Honest.  I can’t see them either, now. They were there, honest.

a load of balls

Clingon the elder, from now on to be known as Batty, not because she is batty (though she is a bit) but because she has incredibly good hearing and spends all night lying awake and most days wanting to be asleep.  Anyway, Batty was a bit nervous about going in the balls. After we’d stood and watched for a while she decided she’d have a go. Good call, both kids came back with their faces flushed with excitement, dying to have another go. “Best thing EVER!!”  Apparently.