Tag Archives: breakfast

Sausage Roulette

I love a good game of sausage roulette in the morning. I mean. Who doesn’t love a game of sausage roulette?


Wash your mind out right now!

Sausage roulette involving actual sausages from the butcher. Honestly, what are you? Twelve?

Never heard of it? It’s a game we hoteliers love to play on a daily basis. How many guests have we got in? How many are going to want sausages? How many shall I actually cook?

It can be a risky game. I’ve held my nerve on many occasions and won, doing a little victory lap around the kitchen with a roasting tin devoid of sausages held aloft. I’ve lost my nerve on many occasions and wished I’d held tight. I’ve never outright lost and needed a sausage and not had one but I’ve had sausages leftover on many occasions. Douggie the doggie never complains and neither do the staff.

This weekend I was going to win. No doubt about it. Three vegetarians, one vegan, four meat eaters. Strangely, I have discovered that the fewer guests we have the more likely they are to want a full English breakfast so I put in four sausages.

The vegetarian/vegan group came down to breakfast first. I stood in the kitchen awaiting their order, hand on the freezer door ready to pull out a pack of Linda McCartney’s.

“One scrambled egg on toast. One hash browns, tomato and beans. One hash browns mushrooms and beans and one full English.”

“Veggie full English?”
“No. Full English, bacon, sausage, the works.”

“What? No. They can’t. They’re vegetarian.”
“Not today they’re not.”

Bugger. I set to making their breakfasts and then contemplated my hand in the game of sausage roulette. Four people due for breakfast. Only three sausages. Hold my nerve or cave?

I held my nerve. The next couple came down for breakfast. “Two full English, Please.”

I was starting to panic. Two guests, one sausage.

Then I remembered that I’d caught sight of the remaining couple when they checked in. Fair to say they enjoyed their food. I caved. In went another sausage.

The last couple came down. The washer upper, Lashes and I stood and waited with bated breath for the order to come in.

Boofuls came in with the order.

“You lose.”


Flash, flash, flash

I spent the whole of today with a bunch of flashers! There wasn’t a single dirty raincoat in sight though.

I’ve been willing the BIPP to do a seminar on flash techniques and they obviously picked up on my vibe and provided one.  Ok, their timing was a bit out, I have far too much work on at the moment to spare a whole day out but I wasn’t going to pass it up.  I’ll just have to work twice as hard tomorrow and Friday to make up for it.

Never one to pass up and opportunity for a bit of ‘couple time’ Boofuls said he’d come along as well so we decided to go down yesterday and stay overnight at the brilliant Queen Hotel in Chester.   Good food, good wine and good company. We had a brilliant evening and woke up raring to go and ever so slightly hung over.

Breakfast in hotel was exciting. Using the conveyor belt toaster, you know the ones, you put your bread on the revolving rack at one end and it spits it out at the other all nicely toasted. That’s the plan anyway.

My toast arrived at the end of it’s journey as white as it started out. “Hhhmm’, I thought , I’ll put it in for another session.’

Just at that a very assertive woman arrived, noticed what I’d done and took it on herself to turn the power up. Ten seconds later smoke started to pour out of the toaster as my breakfast went up in flames. Thick smoke bellowed out of the toaster as me and the woman, slightly more flustered than assertive at this stage, waved our arms about  in an attempt to prevent the smoke alarms going off.

” I’m terribly sorry, would you like a piece of my toast to replace yours?”  she said as the blackened and charred remains of my breakfast tumbled out of the toaster.

It’s no way to start the day.