Tag Archives: cars

Wintry weather


The weather men have even threatened us with snow. Snow! Yaaaaaaay!


It hasn’t arrived yet though, just a cold and biting wind, lovely frosty mornings and zero temperatures. According to my car it was -4 this morning. My bum certainly knew it was -4 when I got in the aforementioned car and sat on the lovely shiny black leather seat.


Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to put leather seats in a car? Unless they make a bum warmer that knows you’re going to get in the car ten minutes before you actually do it and gets the seat all nice and toasty for your rear end then they should definitely keep away from leather seats. Leather seats? I’ll take the sheepskin, thanks.


It’s been more than a bit parky for my nether regions, they’re wondering  what’s going on, they’re not used to being cold. Bbbbrrrrrrrrrr.


I’ll be investing in a nice fluffy seat cover before too much longer, I think. In the meantime I’ll be putting a nice thick, radiator warmed towel on the seat. Who cares if passers by think I’m incontinent. At least I’ll have a warm bum.








Beep beep.

Boofuls’ brilliant new car, which he’s hardly driven since he got it as mine’s still in a hospice,  is ace.  If it was a lager it would probably be the best lager in the world. It’s a smooth, comfortable, powerful drive – and it’s got bum warmers. Luxury!

The way to move the seat forward is to push a little lever on the side and then it moves forward on it’s own with no pulling, pushing grunting of bouncing around like in most other cars. That sounds good, doesn’t it?

As I push the seat lever forward, I lift up my feet and wait till the seat reaches the correct position then I let the lever go. The trouble is the amount of time it takes to do it. I’m sitting there feeling like a two year old, feet dangling while an adult pushes the chair closer to the table so I can reach. It seems to take forever.  I know I’m short but there’s no need to rub it in!

Still on the subject of cars, Lashes picked up her new car the other day.

Talk about traumatic!

It should be fun going to pick up a new car and she was bursting with excitement as she set off to get it. From then it all went south.

The car dealership, Arnold Clark in Preston, told her it would be a 15 minute job to sort out the paperwork. TWO AND THREE QUARTER hours later it was completed. For the whole of that time she sat and waited with a hungry and fractious three year old with not a shop in sight to go and get her something to eat.

Lashes starts work at 1pm, at 1.30 the salesmen thought it would be funny to start making jokes about how they didn’t think she’d make it on time. Call me old fashioned if you like but I would be mortified if I’d caused someone to lose two hours wages. I’d be on my knees grovelling and sending someone out to the nearest shop for food for the child not making stupid and inappropriate jokes.  It gets worse:

On finally setting off to work in her new car it very quickly became apparent that the £20 of petrol they said they’d put in hadn’t happened, the car was practically running on fumes. Neither had they repaired the scratches on the car as they’d promised.  By the time she arrived at work she was stressed to the point of tears and all the excitement of buying a decent car, her first one since the old banger that we bought her when she passed her test, had been replaced by anger, frustration and disappointment.

Arnold Clark Preston, consider yourself named and shamed. I award you a huge stinking onion for the disgusting way you treated my family.