Tag Archives: food

Posh Nosh

Len and Lashes treated themselves to a posh tea the other night. Popping down to ASDA for a few supplies they came home with some extra special salmon en croute. Mmmmmmm my mouth’s watering at the very thought of it. A few green beans, maybe a few sauteed potatoes?

Lashes decided to give her own unique twist and thought it would work better with chips and spaghetti hoops. Who said the younger generation don’t have class?

In honour of Big N’s birthday we invited all the kids and clingons up for tea last night. Bit of a last minute decision so I had to concoct a meal for ten from whatever I could find in the fridge. We ended up with the Italian version of Friday pie: pasta with tomato and garlic sauce with chopped up sausage and chilli burgers. Not bad, not fantastic.

The snow arrived with a vengeance so everyone left in a hurry quite early on as they’d all have ended up sleeping on the floor otherwise.

Due to the same snow storm I had to cancel our planned dinner party with friends from Manchester. The menu was to be home made tomato and basil soup, beef wellington (Boofuls’ fave)  and an as yet un-decided on pudding. Shame, I was looking forward to seeing them, we haven’t had a good catch up for ages. While I was chatting on the phone with them this morning they told me about their old maiden aunt they’d recently been to see. She’d cooked them a special meal of Fray Bentos steak and kidney pie. For those sophosticated people who don’t know what a Fray Bentos pie is, it comes in a tin. Auntie popped the pie, without opening the tin and removing the lid, into a piping hot oven.

Yup, you’ve guessed it. After about 20 minutes there was a huge explosion in the kitchen as the tin exploded and splattered the oven door and all the contents of the  pie all over the kitchen. Thank God no one was in the room at the time or it could have turned into a very nasty event. I think they ended up with cheese sandwiches for lunch that day.

As a small child I was once on the receiving end of an oven explosion when my Mum only lit the gas jets on one side of the oven. It goes with an almighty bang, scared the bejesus out of me, I’ve been scared of gas ovens ever since.

I know you’re all dying to ask. What am I going to do with the beef wellingtons I’ve made for tonight’s dinner party? Eat them of course. I asked Boofuls what he’d like with it, guess what he said.

Chips and baked beans!

Bloody heathen! Now I know where Lashes gets in from, it must be in her genes. Why could she not have inherited her Granddads chef foodie genes like I did instead of her Dads lack of interest in good food genes. Sigh. It’s an uphill battle with this lot. She’ll be drinking Lambrini next. What? She does?  God help us.

I saw this article on the news website earlier and I thought it was lovely, take a look:  nature made an ice sculpture


Friday Pie Returns – or My Peas Won’t Mush!

One way and another it’s been an expensive month. So expensive, in fact that I’ve been avoiding doing large supermarket shops and using up the contents of the cupboards and freezer. That’s ok when there’s only the two of us to think about  but my plan came a cropper when B announced that  C, Ol and the baby were coming for tea.

“Righto”, I said. “CRAAAAP’, I thought, as I mentally listed what delicious and nutritious goodness I could make from the ingredients at my disposal. I have to admit the list was woefully short.

Spuds – always good

Pasta – bugger all to put with it

Ah ha!!  There’s some fish in the freezer, I’ll make that with some mushy peas and mashed potatoes – sounds like a plan!

Yup. It sounded like a plan, how wrong can you be.

I put the dried split peas on to soak.

Taking the aforementioned fish out of the freezer I discovered that instead of four pieces as I thought there was only one (NEIL!!!!!!!!)  No worries – here’s another box. Damn it! Again only one fish residing in it. No one ever eats the fish – we must be getting low on stocks.  From the bowels of the freezer I unearthed two miserable, anorexic looking salmon steaks. Ha!  ‘That’ll do for me and C, the chaps can have the battered stuff.

In an attempt to make the salmon look a bit more plumptious I liberally slathered red pesto all over it.

The appointed time   for food came- and went. The fish which had been cooked to perfection got dryer and dryer as we waited for the family to arrive. All the time I was stirring and pummelling the mushy peas with the back of a wooden spoon wondering why they weren’t turning into the gorgeous, thick, unctuous consistency I was expecting. Far from it – they remained like little hard green pellets in the pan not looking the least bit appetising.

Taking the fish out of the oven It occurred to me that Ol has the appetite of a shire horse, I needed more food.

Well, you know times are desperate when you resort to opening the tin of haggis that has been lurking in the back of the cupboard.  I blew the dust off it, opened it and hacked the solid lump of haggis out of the tin, warming it gently in  a pan and explaining to C what a wonderful taste sensation she was about to experience – mingled among the various cooking smells one could faintly detect the smell of *sniff sniff*  Oh yes, bullshit.

By this time I’d completely lost the plot so C’s request for beans rather than peas was forgotten as I served up mash, haggis, various species of fish and mushy peas.  At this point N wandered into the kitchen and casually said, “you did remember to put bicarb in when you soaked those peas, didn’t you?’  “Er……um… bicarb?” Was my mumbled reply as I cursed under my breath.

Ah yes, Friday pie returns.

The salmon, already suffering from anorexia, had turned into wizened, brown lumps of thickish cardboard. The peas were like bullets, the mash was tasteless but the surprise star of the whole sorry mess was the haggis which was declared a hit.

Ol really enjoyed the haggis, at one point asking me what was in it.  You know, sometimes it’s really better not to know so  I avoided the question, moving the conversation on quickly to other topics.

Ten minutes later he and C were in the kitchen, he decided to pick up the empty haggis tin and take a look for himself at the ingredients.  I heard a loud “Eeeeeewwwww”  coming from the kitchen as he read out,’ sheeps lungs’  Even I went a bit queasy.

As I said. Sometimes it’s better not to know.