Tag Archives: guests

Sssshhhhhh…listen…I think they’ve all gone

After a mad flurry last weekend, the house is now empty of paying guests and peace has been restored.

I do have to question whether we are in the right job as we are always so thrilled when we have no one in but then I remind myself that we’ve had exactly three days off since March and I’m feeling a bit entitled to some r&r.

Our last guests were a mixture of UKIP disciples, some repeat guests who have become friends, leading to some ridiculous, alchohol fuelled and very funny conversations in the bar of an evening, and a couple who flew in from Dubai for a funeral, flying out again after only three days. Poor buggers.

At this point I hasten to state that the UKIP-ers politics are not my own and I actively tried to avoid conversations with them. It only took a moment of conversation for the opinions they harbour about all sorts of things to surface and I find most of it deeply offensive. They were hilarious at breakfast though.

One of the ladies ordered a full English breakfast and then asked for mustard with it. It’s quite unusual for anyone to order mustard anyway but the instructions that came with the request made me laugh. “It must be ENGLISH mustard, I don’t want any other kind, it has to be ENGLISH.” I was tempted to go out and say to her, enjoy your English mustard along with your German sausage, your Danish bacon and Spanish tomatoes but I didn’t. Mostly because a paying guest still deserves to be treated politely and actually, all our food is locally sourced. The thought of it made me chuckle enough to put it on the hoteliers forum on Facebook though. Bugger me, three other hoteliers had had exactly the same conversations in their dining rooms! Patriotism a step too far methinks.

So. Now we have an empty house, what to do with our free time?

We could…or…maybe we could…or…just sleep. Blessed sleep.

Yes please! Let’s do that. See you soon, folks, I’m off for the first of many little naps.

So. Are you ready for Christmas yet?

That was the question I was asked at doggie boot camp last night by one of the other inmates’ owners.

WHAAAAAAT!!  It’s still November, get a life, woman!


It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas already. Mostly on account of all the pre Christmas birthdays we have going on. Baby Bunting will be two on Friday.  Where did all that time go so quickly?  Her birthday is swiftly followed by my sister, niece, grand daughter and son (not necessarily in that order) so in order to keep up with all the birthdays I have gifts secreted all over the place.

As normal at this time of year, clients who have been thinking for months, “Ooh, I fancy a family portrait for Christmas, I’ll ring up and book it” are now on the phone wanting to book in sittings and get the goods before Christmas. I of course, just like Father Christmas himself have a team of elves knocking out canvases and acrylics right up to the big day.  Or so these people seem to think. Ho sodding ho.

Quite a large part of today has been spent personalising Christmas cards for various people. Hang on…….considering I was just saying ‘it’s still November, get a life blah blah’ …this post seems to be terribly Christmas orientated. Crap. It’s got me. Bah humbug.

To be honest, there aint a lot else to talk about at the moment. Not that there isn’t a lot going on – I just can’t talk about it since my policy of not airing other folks dirty washing in public still holds. Life is just a bit too interesting for some people at the moment. Hope it all calms down soon.

The weekend should be a better source of gossip. We have friends coming for dinner on Friday night. I’m really looking forward to that. Menu suggestions would be gratefully received though as I haven’t a clue what to cook.  I’ll probably end up doing what I normally do and get them all bladdered so they are to drunk to notice how terrible the food is.

That ok for them but won’t work for me though because I have to keep  clear head and be on my best behaviour for Saturday when my sister is bringing the new boyfriend to stay for the weekend.  I’ll probably end up inviting the rest of the family round as well and make it an informal drinks party. That’s so much better than sitting on the settee nursing a sherry and trying to make small talk. You know the stuff.  Every sentence begins from a standing start with ‘So….’

Not only that but everyone laughs just a bit to heartily at comments that aren’t even funny. Doncha just hate those evenings? Makes you want to rip your eyeballs out.  I know! I’ll make ’em play ‘Twister’ that should break the ice if there is any – one sincerely hopes not (nursing bad memories of the last boyfriend ).  If ‘Twister’ doesn’t work I’ll resort to that age old technique if getting them bladdered!!!  (Yes sis, I know you read this ;-D).

We learnt the, ‘ Just get them drunk,’ technique of hosting from our friends in Belfast. When we were due to visit them once, one of their family asked what on earth they were going to do to entertain ‘The English’.  “Feed ’em and get ’em drunk, of course!” was the reply. And that is exactly what they did! We had a wonderful time.

Anyway, back at doggie boot camp…..Mrs Woofy was BRILLIANT!!  She completed a difficult course of nine high jumps in record time. leaving me  running along in her dusty wake shouting, “over. over, over”  in a more and more breathless voice as I tried and failed to keep up with her as I’m supposed to. By the time we got to the end of the course I was almost on my knees, red faced, wobbly kneed and gasping for breath while the dog danced round me wanting to do it all again.

Bloody hell, that dog’s fast!  I thought it was only supposed to keep the dog fit!

Why can’t she be a ploddy old beagle or something, I could probably keep up with that.

Did I tell you that I’ve started going to a Cuban salsa class? Boofuls came last week for the second class. What a hoot. You have to love Latin music. Some of the other class members aren’t the lightest on their feet. When they are counting out the time and marking the steps they are stamping away like clog dancers. There’ll be broken ankles at this rate!  They are a really nice crowd of people though, I think I’m going to like it. I hope Boofuls carries on going as well. I’ll get the bugger fit one way or another!!  (Sssshhhhh – don’t tell him I said that).