The vet’s remedy of choice for Douggie the doggie of her two options, the one that didn’t work or the one that could destroy his kidneys, turned out to be the one that could destroy his kidneys.
She phoned me to give me the news that I could pick up his tablets the following day and commence treatment.
I felt sick.
It seems like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Surely there has to be a gentler way than this to control his epilepsy?
I consulted with my old friend, Google and did a bit of research. Then it hit me. Homoeopathy! Of course!
When Lashes was a baby she had shocking eczema and we found ourselves in a similar situation, use potentially harmful and invasive drugs or find a gentler way. After many months of trying out various herbal cures, lotions, potions and pills with limited success we found a homoeopath. Within a few days Lashes’ eczema was cured.
Referring back to my old friend, Google, I found a homeopathic vet about an hour away from us. One quick phone call to them and an appointment was booked. One quick phone call to my own vet to ask them to fax Douggie’s medical records over to the new vet left me with my ears on fire. Fair to say the vet wasn’t impressed. Funny that. I remember our GP having exactly the same response when I told him Lashes was seeing a homoeopath. He told me a was a bad mother and I was dabbling in nothing more than witchcraft. Bless him.
The night before our appointment I gave Douggie a wash and brush up. Since he’d spent most of the previous week wet through he was smelling more than a bit like particularly pungent cheese. He made stinking bishop smell like a rose garden.
About an hour before we were due to set off to the new vet I took him for a walk up the track. Off he went to try and catch a rabbit as he does, he’s never caught one yet, probably because of his habit of thundering up the hill announcing his arrival about 200 yards before he gets there. All the rabbits are safely back in their burrows long before he arrives. I carried on up our track happy in the knowledge that he’s catch me up before the corner. I got to the corner. No Douggie.
In the distance I saw four legs waving about in the air. Oh no!!
I set off running back down the track thinking he was having another fit. Then I saw a big doggie head pop up with a big stupid grin on it’s face. At exactly the same moment I real realised he had buried himself in our neighbours twenty foot high pile of horse poo and was having a good old roll round in it.
Instead of the pristine white he’d been five minutes earlier an orange Douggie ran up to meet me, so pleased with himself. Not an inch of him didn’t have horse poo on it. It was hanging off him in clumps, there was bits of straw stinking out of him at all angles giving him a peculiar porcupine shape, lets not even talk about the aroma. They say horse poo is good to put on the garden. I could cheerfully have buried him in the garden – and there was enough poo on him to fertilise it for a whole year.
Nothing for it but to give him another bath.
I filled the bath and then braced myself to stand in it in order to shower him down and get the shampoo deep into his fur. While I was paddling around in dilute horse poo with the straw and clumps getting between my toes it’s fair to say I asked myself some serious questions as to why I actually wanted a dog. That was between the heaving of course. Keeping hold of my breakfast was proving tricky.
We arrived at the vets just about on time, with Douggie still dripping wet through and a bit whiffy. He really needed more than the once over I’d given him. What he really needed was a whole bottle of shampoo and huge amounts of deodorant. The vet was very polite about it and pretended she couldn’t smell him. Oh, the shame!
Our consultation lasted an hour and a half, during which time she asked me gazillions of questions about Douggie, about me, about his background, everything about him in fact. Every now and then she’d “Hhhhhmmmmm” and consult her book. Eventually she decided on a remedy for him. Actually, two. One constitutional remedy and one acute remedy. The acute remedy is for when he’s in stressful situations. It’s belladonna! I walked into the health shop and asked for it and they looked at me if I was trying to kill someone. “Belladonna? What do you want that for?”
Obviously being homeopathic it’s massively diluted. Mind you, if Douggie pulls any more stints like what will go down in history as ‘the poo incident’ I may well be looking for a stronger dose.
Be warned, pooch!