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Can’t see the trees for the wood


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#woods #winter #trees #lancashire #january #instagram

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To sum it up


Today has been a horrible day. In fact this horrible day started yesterday when Douggie and I went for a walk. Let’s just say that ain’t mud he’s covered in.

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Today  was horrible before the day started because I had some terrible dreams last night that stayed with me all day.

So many tears today.  Let’s not pursue it or I’ll only cry again. Never be sympathetic to an upset woman unless you want more tears.

It will be good to see the back of today. Good riddance Monday, don’t come back!

Here are a few photos from my walk with Douggie the doggie this afternoon. They just about sum up my mood. 

Tomorrow has got to be better.

 

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Summertiiiiiiime and the living is easy


You have to love summer, the warmth from the sun on your back, lounging around in the garden having afternoon tea with family, swatting away wasps…..no. Wait. What? Something’s wrong.

It’s not summer at all, it’s October. What’s going on?

The sun is blazing away like a blazing thing – brighter and hotter than it’s been all summer. We’re all holding our hands over our eyes and screaming that we can’t stand the brightness! Ok, that’s not strictly true but it’s not far off, we aren’t used to sunshine. All we usually get is shades of grey ( not THAT shades of grey – badly written twaddle that it is. I had to read all three books before I made up my mind about it though). On a good day the best we usually get here is a murky grey – on a bad day it’s more of a charcoal grey. I’m always amazed at how bright the colours are when we’re on holiday.

Anyway, back to the plot.

This afternoon we spent a lovely afternoon with The Rev, Gembolina, DD, Batty and Big N. It was one of the nicest days of the year. I’m so confused.

Oh well, I’m not going to waste energy thinking about it, I’m just going to be thankful we had it to enjoy at this late stage  in the year.

We had a fabulous sunset the other night, I certain promise of a nice day to follow. I bet the shepherds were beyond delighted, I bet they were delirious with joy when they saw this sunset.

Amazing sunset, Shot on iphone 4 with instagram
Amazing sunset, Shot on iphone 4 with instagram

Th dog enjoyed it as well, he sat on the wall and just watched, every  now and then he’d look round to make sure I was still there. I think I should call him velcro dog.

Amazing sunset and amazing dog. Shot on iphone 4 with instagram

Talking of late in the year,  if the prediction that Boofuls and me were to move house before Christmas is going to come true then it’s cutting it a bit fine. Still hovering on the brink of having sold our house, the painfully slow pace feels a bit like crawling over broken glass.  I wish they’d get their finger out and get on with it, the frustration is killing me – and I’ve been psyching myself up all year for not sending another Christmas in this house, now I just want to get moved so please…send us your positive house moving vibes. We need all the help we can get at the moment.

A couple of odd things have happened this week. That’s odd in a nice way, not odd in a “Oh bloody hell!’ kind of way.

It turns out that our local bank has closed down. Thanks for telling us, guys. The first I knew about it was when I went to pay in a cheque the other day. Oh well, I suppose a trip to the nearby big town won’t kill me. Actually, I was amazed and delighted to see the Thwaites dray horses. I haven’t seen them for years, not since I was a kid, when I used to see them all the time delivering beer to local pubs. They are just as splendid as I remembered them. These big, lovely, friendly  shire horses drew people to them like magnets. The carriage drivers smiled from ear to ear, proud of their horses in all their regalia and enjoying the attention just as much. It really made my day. Aren’t they gorgeous?

Thwaites dray horses
Thwaites brewery

The next odd thing to happen was on Friday morning when bezzie mate and me decided to investigate a new furniture and gift store. As we pulled up outside the shop we saw a group of polar bears walking up the road. Wut?

I rubbed my eyes and took another look. Yup, it was polar bears alright. This one kindly posed for a photo for me. He must be called Usain Bear.

Usain Bear

You know you’re going bonkers when…


Stumbling bleary eyed from my bed to the bathroom yesterday morning I scooped up my toothbrush on the way.

Once I got into the bathroom and went to apply toothpaste to it I realised it was my hairbrush. So close and yet  so far away. At least no one saw me.

I’ve got a few little photos for your delectation. Nothing exciting, just a few happy snaps on my phone.

 

First: Lashes in an er…..eclectic mix of clothes for her dance lesson. The socks with pictures of chips on them looks particularly fetching with the satin dance shoes, I think.

Remember when we had all that rain a few months ago? Well, it’s back with a vengeance. We’ve had two months worth of rain in two days. Buildings will be falling down again soon at this rate. Even the dog is fed up of it all. Don’t you think he looks a bit like ET with his towel over his head?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three year olds shouldn’t be allowed out with cameras, capturing evidence of me not working!! Oh. It was my phone she was using. Damn it. Here I am – ahem – working really, really hard at the wedding fayre last Sunday.  Well, the fashion show was on and you have to take your breaks when you can.  Munki has learnt how to use Instagram. Doesn’t she know it’s hard?  When did kids get so clever? She is showing some real talent at photography. I’ve never seen a three year old frame a photograph before or pan with the subject. She’s amazing.

 

And now for a special treat, here are some translations from various languages into English. Enjoy.

 

Wonderful translations from Around the World:

In a Bangkok temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge, Norway :

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctors office, Rome :

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER,THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS
FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS
THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE
BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN,
LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich :

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen : ( only here ? ? ? )

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome :

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

 

That’s a handy bin


During the last few weeks I’ve been amassing photos of things. There is no theme, rhyme or reason, I just like them. I hope you do too.

A very handy bin

Don’t spray the paint: How I wish I was brave enough to spray the paint but I’m a rule follower not a rule breaker. How sad is that? “I wanna be a rule breaker!”  Nope. Even I don’t believe it, I’m such a goody goody. Dammit.

A picture of my house. What do you mean, you can’t see it, it’s right in front of you!

Tree silhouette.

Biblical sky

Rocky trail or…Bloody geocaching! Poor Batty was daft enough to agree to come geocaching with me. The route led us eventually to this trail. At times on the way I was having to heave her over the rocks and across streams and  down steep muddy banks until eventually we got on the path we wanted. She’s got some bottle, Batty. I’m in awe of her calm, unflappable approach to difficult situations. Many an able bodied child ( and adult) would have baulked at what she did that evening. Well done Batty!

To swim or not to swim: That is the question. The answer came about two minutes later when a whippet, alaskan malamute and a scottish terrier all turned up so they went for a swim together. This was the calm before the mayhem.

Don’t ask me. I don’t know, I just liked the light and the angles.

Big assed buttercups