Tag Archives: love

Christmas in pictures

It’s twelth night. Time for all the Christmas deccies to come down. Actually, we took them down on the 2nd. It always seems daft to me to keep them up once Christmas and New Year are finished. It seems like so long ago! Not only that, the living room seem huuuuuuge and so bare but anyway, moving on.

In honour of twelfth night and to nod in the direction of the ghost of Christmas recently passed. Here are a few photos from our Christmas. The eagle eyed among you may notice a few new faces in the family. That’s a whole different story.

Here we go then. Christmas at Booful’s lodging emporium. It’s a little peek into our very private world. The world in which I am the most happy. The world that is a constant round of cleaning, cooking, washing up, cuddles, laughter and joy.

I’d been looking forward to and dreading Christmas in equal measure. Trying not to build up the perfect family Christmas in my mind as that always led to disappointment when I was a kid. So many high expectations that end in a brawl or row. Or like an Alan Bennet play, all going swimmingly on the surface but with all these tensions, fuelled by too much alcohol, too much food and close proximity to family members you haven’t seen from one year end to the next bubbling over.

This Christmas didn’t have any of that. This was like the best bit of Dicken’s Christmas Carol and I felt like Bob Cratchit beaming at the head of the table.

Time is a great healer

My dear brother. Heh. You’d laugh if you read that. Then you’d ask me what I was after.

It’s already been four days since you left us.  Four days in which our lives have been turned upside down. How has that time gone so quickly? It’s going too fast.

I don’t want the time to go by because in no time at all it will be a month since you passed and then year and then ten years.

It’s a really bizarre thing.  Although our hearts are breaking, life is going on as normal. The dog still needs a walk, jobs need to be done, the postman still turns up wanting a banter and because I don’t want to be rude I’ll banter back. It’s an unreal reality, it feels like a dream. Can’t anyone else see that nothing is normal any more?

I want to be back at your bedside, stroking your hair and telling you I love you.  It’s just too hard to let you go yet.  I know that he kindest thing, was to let you go, your life would have been intolerable to you had you survived.

I should gain some comfort from that, but I’m not.  Not yet.

Time just needs to stand still for a while and let I feel every stab of the pain of your loss because  the depth of pain I’m feeling means that you are still close to us.

As time passes,  the  memory of you will fade along with the pain we are feeling right now and I’m not ready for that.  Rick, can you just get someone to  stop the world for a little while? Just for a little while, till I’m ready to move forward again.


A love story

We all have our ideas of love. Some have a romantic, hearts and flowers and endless romantic interludes.

Anyone who’s been in a relationship for any amount of time quickly finds out that isn’t the reality of it.

Day to day life, health issues, niggly habits and taking each other for granted all take their toll on the hearts and flowers sugar rush of a fresh new relationship.

Despite all that, couples manage to stay together, the heady love they felt at the beginning of the relationship deepening  and evolving over the years.

Boofuls and I used to sit and watch old couples in pubs and restaurants just sitting together, not talking, both wrapped up in their own thoughts. “If we ever get like that it’ll be time for us to move on but we’ll never get like that, we love each other too much for that.” we’d say with the arrogance and smugness of a newly in love couple who thought no one else could possible have experienced a love as strong as ours.

And yet, here we are, twenty eight years later.

We are now that couple. The couple who just sit, gazing into the middle distance.

However, now we have an insight into it that all those years of marriage have brought about.

Content just to be breathing the same air.  Small talk isn’t needed, we don’t feel the need to entertain each other. We’re just happy to be close to each other. We don’t need to be gazing into each others eyes an declaring our love loudly and publicly.

This week I heard about the parents of a school friend.

Her parents had been married for many years. Sadly, her father died a short time ago. A massive shock to the whole family.

Her mother survived two long weeks without him and then she too passed away to be with her husband.

They are having a joint funeral.

Like Boofuls and me, they made a vow to be together till death parted them.

Their love has transcended death.

That’s a love story.