Tag Archives: party

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

OK, it’s not the night before Christmas. I fact it’s 9 45 in the morning but the house is eerily quiet.

It’s been a busy weekend one way and another. Friday night was the dinner party for friends and family. After wandering the aisles of Sainsbury’s for hours looking for inspiration for the menu I eventually came up with this:

Tomato and basil soup with home made pesto and ciabatta

Chicken stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped in parma ham, served on a bed of spinach.

Apple charlotte and cream – although I got ganged up on and all the guests had a vote in my absence and decided they wanted custard instead. I have nothing against custard. Me and custard have been mates for years but sometimes you need to make new friends and cream was it, my new best mate for the briefest period of time before being cruelly pushed out by the rest of the gang. Left to loiter lonely and cold in the fridge with the leftovers.

The wine and conversation flowed all evening. getting a word in edgeways was the hard bit as Machinegun learned. Incidentally, Machinegun is such a long winded name. From now on Machinegun will be referred to as Len. It could have been worse. He could have been given a symbol for a name, something like : § then we could refer to him as ‘the person formerly known as Machinegun’ Well, it works for, ‘the artist formerly known as Prince.’

I think we’ll stick with Len.

Practically the whole of the UK has been snowed on.

Where’s my snow? That’s what I want to know.

Looking at the weather map it snowed snow all round us, above, below and next to us with just one little green area left on the map – us. Pppssssht!

Just look – and this is downgraded from yesterday’s map when Wales was all covered as well.

weather map from metoffice.gov.uk


Well. The sister came with the new boyfriend this weekend.  No need for Twister or sherry as it turned out. The ‘feed ’em and get ’em drunk’ approach worked a treat. If I’m honest I think I peaked in the food department on Friday. Saturday’s mediocre offerings were an embarrassment. MORE WINE NEEDED HERE!!!!

We had a brilliant evening (apart from the food) and a good time was had by all – till two in the morning if you please! That’s waaaay past my bedtime.

Now of course we are all paying  for it. I’m sure someone will make a move soon and get the day started. Let’s hope they don’t have plans for anything too energetic. I could do with a pj day.

More later when I’m fully recovered.


I’m too bloody old for all this

Last night me, Boofuls, Lashes and Machinegun went out to a black tie dinner, the first of this season. They  can go one of two ways, these dinners, they are either mind numbingly, excrutiatingly boring or they are a complete hoot.  Last night was a complete hoot.

A combination of good company, decent food, flowing wine and a room full of people creating a satisfying buzz gave all the ingredients for a good night out. Old friends brought along some people who quickly became new friends and a good time was had by all.  The disco was DIRE, which of course added to the fun. Inappropriate dancing 70’s,  80’s, and techno style, Boofuls forgetting that the foxtrot works best when it’s danced with 4 beats to a bar not 3.5 as he was doing and a fair amount of shoulder bopping ( very dangerous in a halter neck dress when you’re built like I am) made a night to remember. Actually, considering the amount of alcohol we got through I’m surprised we remember anything!

I do remember a certain high ranking police office who was at at our table, reading his speech using  the backs of a set of Thunderbirds xmas cards as his cue cards. I declared my undying love for Scott Tracy to much derision from the assembled group.

Scott Tracy. Photo from: http://www.freewebs.com/thunderbirds-unofficial/thecharacters.htm

Sigh. See, even as a kid I liked my men tall and dark though preferably with no strings attached. Anyway, after quick boogie on the dancefloor I returned to find the photo of the afore mentioned Scott on my seat.  I picked it up to  be met with roars of laughter.

“HAHAHAAAAA, We wanted to see if you’d sit on his face!!”

WHAT?  Waaaayy too much to drink, I think (titter).

Before we knew it, it was 1.00 a.m, where did that time go? Machinegun and Lashes went home in a taxi and me and Boofuls settling in the residents bar to watch the antics of the bridal party from the days wedding reception.  One chap insisted on taking our photographs even though we strenuously denied any connection to either the bride or the groom. ” Yoosh look show egulant I mush tay   { burp}  a  photo”.

In an unusual moment of forward thinking some time last year, me and Boofuls booked a room at the hotel we were at. We stayed in the bridal suite. I bit ironic considering recent events. The room was fabulous. The bed was appalling, a very beautiful antique number, was about half the size we are used to and  it squeeked and creaked more than a squeeking, creaking thing. Any thoughts about impending hanky panky were quickly  dismissed as the bed signalled to the whole hotel what was going on.

I spend half the night  cursing under my breath and clinging to the edge like a bat as Boofuls spread himself out and snored for all he was worth. It’s fair to say that I wasn’t at my brightest or breeziest this morning as I greeted the world with a “shut up and fook off.”

Breakfast in the hotel was an experience. The guestes from the previous day’s wedding who had stayed over had decided that the dining room belonged to them. They lifted the jug of orange juice,  which, I can tell you I was in dire need of, from the buffet table  and kept it on their table. Gee thanks.

We eventually went in search of a waitress and ordered out breakfast. All the while the wedding party screeched and squawked as the mother of the bride kept shouting out, “Morning Mrs Pilkington. How does it feel to be Mrs Pilkington?”   etc etc while running round taking photos of everyone as they shovelled bacon and eggs into their over large gobs. I bet the  photos are lovely.

I may have suffered a small amount of sense of humour failure as I looked up at one point just as the flash of her camera fired in roughly my direction, blinding my poor hungover eyes. “Why don’t you just fook off and be perky somewhere else?’ crossed my mind more than once.

Eventually our poached eggs turned up. “Do you think we might have some coffee?” I enquired of the over worked waitress. Eventually the coffee turned up. “Do you think we might have cups to drink it from?” was my next question, swiftly followed by, as the cups were banged down on the table, ” I don’t want to be a nuisance but how about some milk and sugar.. and maybe a teaspoon? One between us will do, we’re not fussy.

Boofuls and me had breakfast in virtual silence. To be honest, we could hardly hear ourselves over the racket coming from the bridal party and it wasn’t worth the effort trying to compete with them, so we didn’t. Not that I was up to much in the way of conversation, an occasional grunt was about all I could manage.

It was with a  certain amount of relief we checked out of the hotel to the peace and quiet of the car.

I really must learn to party more sedately, as becomes my age and station.  I’m getting way too old for all this. I should be tucked up in my bed for 10pm like a good granny should.  Pppsshhhtttt. NOT!


I think it’s fair to say there is a sense of excitement in the air.

We had a family conference over dinner last night.  It was the big planning meeting in preparation for our big holiday next week. OH! Did I just say next week? Hold on a moment while I explode with childish excitement.


Ok, I’m back.

Big N did the cooking, Boofuls appointed himself chairperson and tried his best to keep order while the rest of us giggled, got very drunk and generally buggered about.  All that is except for C who tried her best but is still really ill from her kidney infection and sat pale faced and quiet all evening.  Pool lamby.  She probably won’t need to dress up for the halloween fancy dress party on board, she already looks like  Marley’s ghost with her chalk white face and dark circles under her eyes.

Eventually Boofuls did mange to call us to order and we decided who wanted to go on which trip where and who with. Funny, I couldn’t get any takers to join me on the 7 hour hike.

Dinner consisted of Neil’s home made burgers and potato wedges along with ridiculous amounts of  wine. So much for my plan to keep to the tonic water. I might be paying for it now though.  I do have one unanswered question from last night though.  How on earth did my knickers end up on the bathroom floor?  I do hope it was after everyone had left.

Yesterday was fun, mostly. Big N needed a new dinner suit  so after work we swanned off into nearby Bigtown for a look in the sales.  In a move not dissimilar to mine the day before he swept through the rails of clothing, squealing with delight (not really – Big N doesn’t do public shows of  anything, I should call him Mr Inscrutable as he never gives anything away).   As he tried the items on he came out of the changing room to get the thumbs up or not. Modelling one fetching ensemble of shorts and formal shirt I declared the shorts to be a thumbs up but the shirt : “Oh no. that shirt’s awful, I don’t like that AT ALL, get shut of that.”

He looked at me for a second with a perplexed look on his face trying to decide if I was joking or not then, deciding that I wasn’t, he answered stonily, “Actually, this is my shirt.”  Oops. Foot in mouth syndrome attacks again.

So… moving swiftly on.

The plan for today is to go up to my sister’s new house so Boofuls can plumb in her washing machine. I hope it doesn’t involve too much bending for him because if his head is as woozy as mine it won’t be  a pleasant experience.  Now, where are those Alka Seltzer?   When will I ever learn?

Caption Competition

Yup. I promised you a caption competition today and here it is. Ok, I know there’s only and hour and a half of today left but, hey ho.  It was a choice between doing this or visiting my friend and photography pal – and she won, hands down. I haven’t seen her for ages and it was nice to catch up.

So (Fanfare at the ready )  Here it is, the competition you’ve all  been waiting for.  Parpetty parpy paaaaaaaaaaarp!!!!!  (That was the fanfare)

The sender of the funniest caption for this photograph wins the Fabulous prize of a very small amount of kudos for a very short time.

Remember the competition is for the funniest caption, not the rudest!

Funniest Caption Competition

Happy birthday dear Boofuuuuuuullss, happy birthday toooo youuuuuuuuu

So Boofuls has reached the ripe old age of 56.   There have been times, if I’m honest, when I didn’t think he’d make it. But make it he did and our plan to have a small family bbq ended up as one of the best parties we’ve had for a long time.

The party was still going strong – even though B was nodding off in a chair – when I heard a resounding ‘CRACK’ and realised that dawn had broken.

Blimey, last time that happened was when we were with our ex friends in Wales (too long a story, that one).

The remaining guests were had the microphone forcibly removed from their hands, because they weren’t ready to finish singing, were shoved into a taxi and sent home and we stunbled (staggered, more like) off to bed.

But I’m getting in front of myself. lets start at the beginning.

The rain from earlier in the day decided to bugger off, the wind dropped and the evening was lovely and balmy with a gentle refreshing breeze. All the family arrived in good spirits and we were halfway down the first jug of Pimms when a deep rumbling sound alerted us to the arrival of M & S on their trike.   Boofuls had got the bbq all fired up and the sausages were a sizzling and smelling delicious.

We kept the food really simple for two reasons. 1. It was nearly a spud pie supper due to the weather and 2.It gets bloody pricey feeding 16 people if you get too ambitious in the catering department, so it was a down to a multitude of different types of sausage and a mixture  of bought and home made burgers along with my favourite, caesar salad, tomato salad, some spicy couscous and a ton of assorted breads.

All that was missing was my sister and her daughters. The food was all ready to eat, the guests were all starving so after I found one  gnawing away at a table leg we decided to eat without them, they were after all more than an hour late.  By the time they arrived it looked like a swarm of locusts had attacked the table, I think it’s fair to say there wasn’t a lot wasted.

I’d bought some peri peri chicken. I’d never had it before and it had been lurking in the freezer for exactly an occasion like this. Now I’m not one to blaspheme but JESUS H CHRIST, that was HOT!!!!

Everyone who sampled it was running for glasses of water or milk. There was steam coming out of my ears as I bravely chomped my way through a piece. Most of the adults put theirs in the bin. Little Liv on the other hand managed to get through hers. I truly don’t know how. She deserved a prize for that. It’s fair to say that I won’t be investing in it again.

High jinks

Bezzie mate was busily going round taking photos of all the goings on, the garden, N walking home from work, the hills, anything, really.  The picture above is one of hers. This is still from quite early in the evening and it was already getting a bit giddy.

Next doors dog must have heard the noise and pulled off a ‘Great Escape’ style  stunt, arriving in our garden all excited looking for food and poochie. I could tell she was disappointed when she realised that poochie wasn’t there.  The neighbour’s daughter came teararsing down the track in pursuit of the dog, panicking as it ran into the field in case it chased the horses. They take a dim view of that round here. The dog was running round like a loony, the neighbour’s daughter plonked herself on our garden wall and burst into tears.

At this point I’d love to say that a dignified and sympathetic silence fell over the crowd of people at our house but oh no, they were as raucous as ever, oblivious to the weeping girl only feet away from them.  Eventually with the help of some of poochie’s scooby snacks the dog was captured and led home, I’m certain to have it’s arse kicked by a very pissed off teenager.

Son P was on top form. Irreverent, funny and downright coarse he had the place in an uproar. I only hope that most of it went over the heads of the kids. I was laughing and cringing at the same time as covering the ears of the kids who were hovering nearby.  I was a bit surprised when son P and  C’s beau got up first to sing on the karaoke. ‘Hhhmm, that’s not like him’ I thought as he began to sing.

Tappping my feet along with the music and tuneless singing I suddenly realised that the words they were singing didn’t match the ones in my head AT ALL!!!  Oh. Dear. Lord.  It was pure filth. B had loaded up dirty karoake and the crowd were loving it.

What happened to my vision of a sophisticated evening of Pimms on the lawn, classical music and intelligent conversation?  Oh yes, that was only in my head.

As the evening wore on, the weather was kind to us and so were the midges, we had the doors wide open as various people crooned or belted out their favourite songs.  The Pimms flowed as did the beer, wine, vodka and the girly sweet drinks and anything else they could lay their hands on.

Around 2 a.m. me and C decided it would be a good idea to open up the bottle of expensive champagne that I’ve been saving for a special occasion.  We waited till in between soongs on the karoake so we could make an entrance with the bottle, all the glasses and candles on a tray, singing Happy Birthday to Boofuls.

In we went singing as loud as we could, ( I’m always amazed at how much better my voice gets when I drink alcohol and it seems the more I drink, the better I sound. Amazing!). In to the lounge with the fully laden tray. W e looked left. No Boofuls. We looked right. No Boofuls.  Crapcrappitycrap. Where the hell is he?

Eventually we found him outside having a fag, it did kind of spoil the grand entrance we’d planned but never mind, the champers was nice.

Birthday Boy, Boofuls

Here is is trying his best to look suave and failing dismally.  Probably not the best photo ever taken of him.

Here are a couple more pics of the evening as it descending into total nonsense as things things have a habit of doing.

I thought I was past all this
Damage Limitation

I’ve got more photos to post as soon as I can get them off Booful’s iphone. We’ll also be having a caption competition, heheee.

We had a fantastic night and I loved every minute of it but thank God it’s only once in a blue moon, I couldn’t stand it any more than that. It took me all day Sunday to recover as it was.


I know you’re all on here looking for the low down on last night’s party.  You’ll have to wait a bit, my brain hurts waaaaaayy too much to be blogging just yet.

Absolutely  top night – ’til three in the morning, if you please!!  Not so sure me and Boofuls will make it out for his romantic birthday meal tonight. All we are up to is recovering quietly curled up on the settee.

Back when the Pimms has worn off

50th birthday party

OK. I promised you photos of my birthday party so here they are courtesy of M & S who had the foresight to bring a camera with them.  It does look a bit like a chimps tea party but we all enjoyed it.  Here are a few photos of the evening with me resplendent in the flashing 50th  birthday tiara. Do you like it? I think it looks particularly tasteful.

Playing my piano

Present time! Ooh I love surprises! Is it a piano?

There was no need to mention the 'eff' word

Not thrilled at being 50, the party was a nice consolation prize but did you HAVE to remind me of my age?

The caterers

Gembolina and Carlawarla did all the catering. D – not so much in the catering department, I think but  I’m sure she supervised – especially when the pudding was being made.  Very nice food. Thanks, girls.

My green, sparkly birthday cake

gem made the bright green birthday cake with nice yellow flowers on. It was a delicious, soft, jammy sponge cake. What we didn’t eat on the night I ended up giving away – a moment on the lips and all that. It’s waaaaay to dangerous leaving a big sponge cake in my vicinity. I’d have had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The peeps at work thoroughly enjoyed it. Son P missed out on it but hey ho – he was on a jolly in London for the day.

The eagle eyed among you will notice the 18 bunting behind me. I think they call that improvisation.

Self portrait of M & S

Or is it a still life of a glass and a bottle?  Hhhmm, tricky. Any way, without them bringing their camera we’d have had no evidence photographs so thanks, guys (I think).

It just so happened it was N’s night off. It isn’t often he gets to join in with family get togethers so that was a nice extra treat – and a rare photo. N doesn’t do photos.

Say 'cheeeeeeeeeeeeese'
sweet smile
D on Wii

D dancing to ‘Cotton Eyed Joe’ on the Wii while wearing a coat and tiara, unusual ensemble.

baby and mum
I was on the Wii, not on the P, honest

“Do ‘Who let the dogs out’ go on, go on, go on!!”  The wouldn’t shut up till I did it so here it is:  me dancing on the Wii to ‘Who let the dogs out’ and not looking a bit stupid. Ha!

Over excitement or senility sets in

Eventually, all the excitment got too much and senility set in. I can’t begin to imagine what happened that prompted me to be pulling that face and standing in front of my “lady with a poached egg face’ picture in that manner. There wasn’t even alcohol involved at that point!  The pretty scarf that was gift from bezzie mate.

That was it then, the 50th birthday. It wasn’t quite as traumatic as I’d feared thanks to all my lovely family and friends who rallied round to make it special for me. Incidentally, just in case you’re wondering, B was there on the night but did an exceptionally good job of avoiding the camera. There isn’t a single photo of him.

The 50th  birthday tiara has moved on to it’s next rightful owner, bezzie mate who’s 50th birthday was yesterday, 1st April. After that it will move on to it’s next rightful owner, I wonder who it will be?