Tag Archives: wedding photography


I’m just seeing all of last year’s brides and grooms through to the end  and getting all their albums and slideshows finished and then I’ll be an ex wedding photographer.  I must say that I quite like the sound of that.

Over the last few months I’ve been working hard designing albums and now I’m down to the last two I’m rattling their cages to get the  image choices off them so I can get it all finished.  While I’m working I like to have a bit of music on quietly in the background.

I like to think I have an eclectic taste in music. All I really don’t like is rap and I’m not overly keen on folk music, it’s  bit dreary for my taste. Everything else from heavy rock to classical I’ll happily listen to and it whiles away the hours whir I’m getting artistic with wedding albums.

One of our couples came yesterday, yes, Good Friday, to pick up their album and they were thrilled to bits with it. I love it when they fill up with tears and have to go through it all a dozen times because they can’t stop looking at it and every time they do they see a new detail I’ve hidden in there. Ok, I will miss being a wedding photographer a little bit.

On Thursday one of my couples needed a bit of help picking their photographs so I invited them into the studio. They are …ahem…. a slightly older couple. he is a lay preacher and she is a retired school teacher. Very nice and very refined, I can’t imagine why they picked me to shoot their wedding but pick me they did and they were thrilled with the results. All I can say is that I earned my money that bloody day!

Anyway, in a fit of nostalgia they decided they wanted to see every picture again and would I run the slideshow. Normally I have it all set up ready with music cued ready to play but as I was only expecting to look at a couple of dozen photographs I hadn’t done it. “Ok, it’ll be a pleasure, just give me  a minute.”

I got the slideshow ready, only a minute of a job and went to pick the music. As the laptop was linked to the big tv screen they were able to see what I was seeing and saw the playlists. “We don’t want the babies playlist, they said with a laugh.  “Well, I’d better be careful what I choose here, you’d be shocked if I put on  some the music  I listen to.” I said with a laugh as I clicked on the ‘top 25 most played’ thinking to myself that that would in fact bring up the babies playlist with it’s innocuous choice of music as that was  in fact the most played.

The first few photographs, the scene setters, the ones of the flowers on the lych gate at the church, the church itself and  the lone piper were all lined up like little soldiers waiting for the first few lilting notes of Jack Johnson’s ‘Better Together’ to begin the slideshow.

Imagine my surprise and utter horror as what actually came out of the speakers was:

OHHHHHHHH SHITFUCK!  Followed by a guitar riff and then shit fuck shit fuck!

“OH MY GOD!” I nearly died.   It was  Reel Big Fish. You don’t play that stuff in front of anyone never mind your most genteel clients.

I nearly knocked my laptop off the desk in my haste to turn off the offending and offensive music. “OHHHNOOOOO! That’s the last thing I wanted you to hear!”

Luckily for me they took it with good humour.  Me? I nearly died with embarrassment.

This isn’t the exact song, it’s a gentler, much nicer  version of it.   I couldn’t find the other one on Youtube but it’ll give you the idea.





I can’t hear anything

Ah, they’re back. How I’ve missed them.

No, wait. That was a lie. I meant: SHUDDUP WITH THE BLOODY SNORING!!!

I am of course referring to Boofuls’ nightly snore fests.  There’s nothing like being woken up twenty times a night thinking you’re about to be run over by a juggernaut. The noise is horrendous.

The other night I suggested gently to him that he might want to put a sock in it. He sat up.


“Shut that bloody racket up!”

“What racket? I can’t hear anything.”

There are times………


So. Moving on. We’re down to three.

Three what? Three more weddings, one of which is today, and then I am no longer a wedding photographer and Boofuls is no longer a wedding photographers bitch.

No that I’ve been counting them down or anything but number one can’t come soon enough. It’s fair to say that the novelty of shooting weddings and working the associated twelve/fourteen hour day has worn off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if we even got properly fed and watered but apparently wedding photographers live on fresh air.

I’m ready to settle down to some good old studio work. Bring on the sprogs!



Saturday in Skipton

D’you know what?

I love my job. That’s what.

Yeah, I know, I moan and complain when I have too much work and not enough time  –   but the bit that I became a photographer for in the first place, you know, taking photos, I love that bit.

I love the locations we get to work in and 99% of the time I love the people we get to work with.

Last weekend it was a wedding in a magnificent church dating back to 1200.  No mod cons, no WiFi, nothing but centuries of people. I wonder how many people have been married in that church?   It amazes me that that church has been at the heart of that small community for hundreds of years and it’s still a huge part of that community. That’s longevity.

The wedding was lovely, the sun shone ( a bit too much for my liking but don’t tell the bride I pray for cloud not bright sunshine), the ceremony was moving, the bell ringers and choir sounded celestial and the vicar hit just the right balance between warmth and dignity, the service was neither cloyingly sweet nor fire and brimstone stern.

Anglican vicars can be a bit sniffy about photographers and it’s not unusual for us to be banished to the back  if it’s a C of E church. That really annoys me.

The most important part of the whole day is the ceremony. Everything else is window dressing. Telling us that we can’t photograph the only part of the day that really matters seems like madness to me. Catholic priests are generally far more obliging. With them we usually get a much appreciated, “Yes, it’s their wedding, do what you like.” Of course we never abuse that privilege. Photographers who move about or use flash during the ceremony should be hung, drawn and quartered in my opinion.

Oops, I seem to have slipped into a bit of a rant there. Hung, drawn and quartered a bit much?  You think?

Let’s move on……..

Moving on  – and talking of medieval punishments….

We have another wedding coming up in an historic building we haven’t worked in before so today we crossed over the border and ventured in Yorkshire to check out the medieval Skipton Castle.

Yup. A real honest to God castle.

Did I mention that I like working in lovely old buildings with lots of character and hundreds of years worth of history behind them?

I love my job.

The wedding season starts

We have the first wedding of this season today. It’s always extra exciting, the first one of the season.

I spend most of the week looking at the weather forecast, I don’t know why. It’s not like I can get a different weather if I don’t like the one we’ve been given.  I also do  lots of test shoots to make sure all the kit is working correctly even though I’ve been using it constantly all year. Having checked and double checked everything twice I’m relatively happy that everything is in order.

If only the clients knew how keyed up I get before a wedding. I mean, it’s not like we can redo it if it’s wrong is it? No second chances here!

Once we get to the venue I’ll be fine, adrenalin kicks in and I have a ball. Until them I suffer from photographers’ stage fright and feel physically sick.



So. Altogether now:

Happy birthday to you  etc etc

It’s my birthday today. Happy birthday to me. Isn’t it funny how social networking changes things in your life? Dozens of people who wouldn’t dream of sending me a birthday card or a text message to say happy birthday have been a bit quick off the mark this morning and sent birthday wishes via Facebook. What s a lovely start to the day.

Well, actually, my real start to the day was walking the dog, Velcro, round the moors at 7 o’clock in the rain. Not a bad way to start the day, I do enjoy a stroll in nice soft rain when the rest of the world is still asleep.

Since I’m now officially well into my fifties, I decided to join the nifty fifties zumba class at the gym.

Oh deary me.

I think they should have called it the knackered nineties.

It’s fair to say I felt and looked a teensy bit out of place in the sea of grey hair. The instructor came over to me, looked me up and down and asked me what she needed to know about me, did I have a pacemaker, bad hips or arthritis? At this point I was beginning to feel decidedly geriatric. I did mention an old shoulder injury which means I can’t fling my right arm round like I used to. ” There’s no flinging of anything in this class.” I was informed tersely.

The class started at a gentle pace, leaving me thinking it was going to be a very long hour but at least the music was good. The instructor shouted out the moves along with occasional warnings, “HIP ISSUES HERE Don’t let your foot go over the centre of your body.” Then looking at me and realising I wasn’t even breaking a sweat. “YOU! Work to your normal pace!”  So I did and thoroughly enjoyed my little (not so little) self.

Proper made my day, being too young and fit for the nifty fifties zumba. Think I may sign up for the armchair aerobics next week. It’s so good for my ego.

Recovering from the stress

Wednesday already? How did that happen?

I earmarked all of this week to get on with my lesson plans for next week as I’m teaching a photography course at the library  all next week.  here we are at Wednesday and I haven’t even strted them yet.  We have a wedding tomorrow and I’m off with my friend I let down last week on Friday, I daren’t let her down again so I’d better get my head down and get on with them all today.

Where does all the time go?

So. Catch up. Sunday. Oh dear Lord, Sunday.

We had a big wedding booked, eleven hours coverage, lots of guests. We drafted in Lashes to help.

The day went without a hitch. The bride and groom were lovely and we were having a ball. We’d even been told that our meal had been upgraded and we were eating the same as the wedding party. Leek and potato soup, roast beef and sticky toffee pudding.  Mmmmmmm.   That’s better than sandwiches by a country mile.

As we plonked ourselves down gratefully and waited for our meal to arrive I picked up my camera to review what I’d taken so far. In my estimation about 700 photos.

I presed the review button and up popped the last image I’d taken,  as normal. What wasn’t normal was the little note at the top which said 1/1.

WHAAAAT!?  One image? I’ve been shooting for five hours!

“Oh nooooo!!!!”

I scrolled to see the rest of the images but the last image stayed steadfastly on the screen with the 1/1 message.

At exactly that point the groom came over to us to congratulate us on doing a marvellous job, “We just can’t wait to see the pictures.”

“No, neither can I.”  I said with a huge smile that belied the pounding of my heart and the throbbing at my temple. I felt on the verge of fainting. A corrupt card is a wedding photographer’s worst nightmare – and I was living it.

‘All those lovely photos. Gone.  Their whole wedding! Then the realisation: Oh my God!  I’m going to  get sued! Am I? I  wasn’t negligent. Was I? Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong? ‘ The thoughts raced round and round in my head, each one shouting at me louder than the last one.

What a waste of leek and potato soup, roast beef and sticky toffee pudding, I hardly noticed it in my misery. I could see from Boofuls’ face that he wasn’t feeling any better than I was.

Being too far away from home to be able to go and download it and  still get back for the speeches we had no choice but to put the rogue card away safely and carry on working.

The rest of the day saw me running round over bright and jolly and trying to reshoot everything again without anyone noticing – as well as all  handle the usual post wedding breakfast requests. “Can I have a photo with….”

” ‘Course you can, that’s what I’m here for. Snuggle up, Big smiles!”

Basically, I ran round like a mad cow with my eyes rolling round in my head and my heart pounding like it was going to burst for the rest of the day.

We arrived home about 10pm. I headed straight for the office and put the rogue card on to download.

It downloaded 700 photographs.  I wept.



Another quick post

I was having a shufti through the archives today while I was working and I came across this photo of Lashes in the hayloft.

It’s always been one of my favourite photos, she looks so serene in it. You wouldn’t think that she’d had a fit of the screaming abdabs two minutes before because she’d  seen a spider.

She isn’t really looking serene at all, she’s really keeping a wary eye out for eight legged beasties.

Laugh? I very nearly fell off my ladder!

Bride in hayloft







Two funerals and a wedding

Boofuls and me seem to be going for the ‘most funerals attended in 12 months’ award.  We’re going to one on Monday and maybe another on Wednesday. When will it end? It’s getting beyond a joke, all this.

There’s hardly a person I know who isn’t grieving at the moment, ( I just scared myself then so I’m changing the subject quickly so there’s no fate tempting going on).

Tonight we had a couple due to come and visit the studio to view their wedding proofs.  They were due at 7pm at the studio. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in there today moving things around and beautifying it. It looks very nice, if I do say so myself.

Right way up and upside down

Hehe  I couldn’t resist taking the photo using the reflections in our shiny new coffee table.

Before I knew it it was almost 5 o’clock. It was  going to be a rush to get home, get fed, changed and back down there in plenty of time for the couple arriving.

Making a brief detour into Sainsbury’s for a bottle of ‘better than half price’ champagne and a few nibbles on my my way home, I arrived back home  to see a large electricity board van parked on our track.

“There’s a fault on the line, the power will be off for about an hour.”

“An hour?”

“Well, y’know.”

“Anybody’s guess then.”

“That’s about it.”

At the point of walking into my freezing cold house, it was actually warmer outside, I made the decision that we’d be going out for a pub meal tonight before going back to work. Boofuls arrived home, shaved and  changed in record time and we made our way to the pub. So did about 6 million other people.

“We’ll never be out in time, let’s go for a chippy tea.”

I was elected to go in and order while Boofuls parked on the double yellows outside. It has to be that way round because I wouldn’t have parked there without having a nervous breakdown. I’d have made him walk the 200 yards from the nearest legal parking space. Parking illegally doesn’t worry Boofuls though as it goes without saying that rules don’t apply to him.

In the chippy, one we’ve never been in before, I was idly glancing around, as you do, when my eye fell upon a poster from the NFFF proclaiming how fish and chips is good for you and is practically one of your five a day. It stated that fish and chips has ‘Less fat and less calories than most other takeaways.’  Resisting the urge to reach into my bag for a pen to correct the abysmal grammar I muttered under my breath, ‘It’s ‘FEWER’ calories. Less fat and fewer calories.’ Tsk.

Mind you I don’t suppose you can ask too much from a chippy that advertises ‘chicken currie’ God help us. That’s as bad as my other pet hates, ‘potatoe’ and that serious misuse of the possessive apostrophe as in, ‘We sell hot pie’s.’  I always get funny looks when I ask them “Hot Pie’s what, and does he know you’re selling his stuff?”

Let’s have a competition!!! Guess what NFFF stands for – without googling it. Best answer wins absolutely nothing but if you make me laugh you can have a small amount of kudos.

Anyway – back at the ranch: We polished off the fish and chips in the canteen at work and I set about getting everything ready for our bride and groom.

The studio looked gorgeous, it was lovely and warm, we had candles twinkling, mood lighting, champagne, nibbles, a fabulous furry black throw for the settee and a lovely slideshow of images from the wedding.   I wasn’t totally impressed with Boofuls when he plonked his cup on the coffee table and ruined the whole effect but it wasn’t there for many seconds.

The B, G and her M all loved the photos which always makes me happy.  To be honest I was a bit surprised when the bride’s Mum arrived as well, I’ve seen her more than I’ve seen the groom but never mind, at least she’s always enthusiastic.

Here are a few pics from their wedding. Obviously I don’t want to identify them on here so there’ll be no faces on show.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

ps Can’t get the slideshow to run without including the studio pic in there which I don’t want to do so just click on the box above and it’ll pop open like magic.