Tag Archives: wintry weather

Going Nowhere Fast

That isn’t some deep and meaningful title for the lack of house sale (although it could be but let’s not talk about that) it’s more literal.

It’s no secret that I love snow. Snow makes me happy. Snow brings out the inner child in me. But, come on, enough’s enough. Now the heavens are taking the piss. ENOUGH WITH THE SNOW ALREADY!

But I’m getting ahead of myself, I have a whole weeks worth of news for you so go and make yourself a coffee, grab a pack of one dips, sit back and read on.

Last Saturday. Little Sis and partner came to visit. Yay! We took them to a local eatery, the one where the local farmers tend to frequent so the food has to be both cheap and plentiful so as not to get the local yokels complaining. I have no issue with cheap and plentiful, in fact, they are two of my favourite words, another one is ‘tasty’ and this eaterie fits the criteria on all three.

The reason for Li’l Sis’s visit was to help celebrate my *gulp* 53rd birthday.

I know, I know, I can hear you saying it now. ” FIFTY THIRD BIRTHDAY?!? You don’t loook a day over 35, you must have the numbers the wrong way round. ” *Blushes modestly* It’s all in the genes you know.

Moving quickly on before anyone has a chance to say anything…

Halfway through our ginormous meal I managed to lift my face out of the trough where I was choffing like a good ‘un and was surprised  to see Len, Lashes and Munki all stood there grinning at us – and bearing a huge bunch of flowers. How lovely. Ok, birthdays aren’t that bad after all, are they?

We spent a pleasant hour in their company and then set off on the 5 minute journey home, getting there just as it started to snow. And snow. And snow. Oh no!

“I’ve got 30 people coming round for brunch tomorrow, it can’t snow. I’ve bought mountains of sausages, not to mention all the croissants, juice and all the other necessary items for a posh brunch for shed loads of folks. Gggaaaahhhhh!

Sunday morning dawned. The snow situation wasn’t too bad, not bad enough to stop people arriving if they wanted to. I  (note the use of the word ‘I’ ) took the dog out for a walk, baked some scones, prepared all the food, cleaned the house, fed the animals, laid the table……right. Listen to me you Americans. Laid the table doesn’t mean what you think it does so stop laughing this minute! (admittedly it does make a funny picture in the mind). It means to put plates and cutlery on the table. Tsk. Dirty minds!

People began to arrive exactly at the appointed time and just about everyone came who was supposed to. How lovely. People who didn’t know each other sat and chatted happily together, the kids played, the Bucks Fizz flowed and the sausages sizzled.  What a lovely day.  I loved it. When most of the guests had gone and it only immediate family were left, Munki  suggested that we all play musical statues. That was truly inspired. What a hoot.

So that was birthday day. Not too disastrous after all and I didn’t spend the entire day crying in a corner mourning  my lost youth.

Then followed a so so week. I can deal with so so after the dramas of the last few weeks.

A few days after my birthday it was Dangerous’ birthday.  Still young enough to look forward to her birthdays rather than dread them, the plan was to go for an Indian. Meal, that is, not an actual Indian. I’m sure there are laws against that kind of thing these days.

Easy enough plan. Till the snow started again. It snowed solidly for about 36 hours. That combined with gale force winds has made some spectacular 5 foot snowdrifts – which have rendered us completely incapable of going anywhere that involves a car. Even a snow plough won’t  do us a lot of good as there is a car abandoned across the road. Taking the dog out this morning I literally had to climb over some of these drifts. Oh well, might as well get on with a few jobs, read a few books and watch a bit of telly, we’re going nowhere for a few days. It’s bloody spring for God’s sake! Let’s have some sunshine!

Poor old Dangerous didn’t get to celebrate her birthday. I don’t know what to say really, except that I know how disappointed she must be. The only consolation prize is that she’s had half of her presents and still has half to come AND is still owed a birthday party. That will effectively make two birthdays for the price of one!!  Every cloud, as they say.

Here are a few pictures of our little hamlet in the snow.

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Wintry weather


The weather men have even threatened us with snow. Snow! Yaaaaaaay!


It hasn’t arrived yet though, just a cold and biting wind, lovely frosty mornings and zero temperatures. According to my car it was -4 this morning. My bum certainly knew it was -4 when I got in the aforementioned car and sat on the lovely shiny black leather seat.


Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to put leather seats in a car? Unless they make a bum warmer that knows you’re going to get in the car ten minutes before you actually do it and gets the seat all nice and toasty for your rear end then they should definitely keep away from leather seats. Leather seats? I’ll take the sheepskin, thanks.


It’s been more than a bit parky for my nether regions, they’re wondering  what’s going on, they’re not used to being cold. Bbbbrrrrrrrrrr.


I’ll be investing in a nice fluffy seat cover before too much longer, I think. In the meantime I’ll be putting a nice thick, radiator warmed towel on the seat. Who cares if passers by think I’m incontinent. At least I’ll have a warm bum.







Take a deep breath and count to 10

Ok. You know I love you dropping by, leaving comments and clicking the ‘Like’ button, all that makes me happy. There’s nothing I like better than to write a post that I know (hope)  will make you smile. ‘Spread The Joy’, that’s my motto.

However, sometimes there’s no joy to spread. Sometimes there’s nothing to spread but a great big mountain of crap.

Far be it from me to bore you with my bitching , moaning  and complaining about my lot on here  but there are times when I have to remind myself that I began this blog as a chronicle of my life, loves, trials and challenges and that by it’s very nature can’t always be sunny side up…….so brace yourself for a moan fest.

I won’t be offended if you decide to move swiftly on as self-pity is never attractive to witness but I’ve had a bastard few days and I need to get it off my ample chest.

1. The snow. Came. Snowed. Buggered off. leaving us sub zero temperatures, icy winds  and treacherous roads and pavements. Short changed in the snow department. Even fecking Turkey has had snow. Where’s mine?

2. Wedding fair time again. We have a huuuuge wedding fair coming up this weekend. Our display banner got damaged (not pointing any fingers but the culprit isn’t far away) so I spent 5 hours last Saturday designing a new one and pretty damn pleased I was too when I’d finished it. What’s wrong with that I can hear you saying?

I’ll tell you what’s fecking wrong with that. The design software couldn’t handle a file that big so it let me do all the design work – all 5 hours of it  – and then refused to export it so I could send it for printing. After it had crashed 6 times I got the message and spent most of the following day doing exactly the same work in Photoshop. It’s a good job I’m the Photoshop queen. Still it’s not like I wanted to have any leisure time last weekend – I was thrilled to be tied to my computer all weekend on the only free weekend we have for 6 weeks. NOT!

3. Driving over to the printer’s with the aforementioned artwork on a cd, my car broke down. Two hours of sitting in my car in the also aforementioned sub zero temperatures before the AA man turned up didn’t put me in the best frame of mind. After being towed back to my home town. I discovered that  the problem is  the timing chain again. You know, the timing chain that never fails once in the car’s lifetime never mind twice. Major expense and even more major inconvenience.  It appears that my car is terminally ill and is fit only for the knacker’s yard. Not so much a Grand Vitara as a bag of shit Vitara.  Knacker’s yard it is, then.

4. Got a tax refund . YAY!!  That’ll pay for the repairs to the car. Len tried to cheer my up by saying that the tax man paid for it and at least I won’t be out of pocket but that pissed me off even more, I’d had plans for that money and they didn’t include repairing the car. I feel like someone has given me a present and then snatched it back off me.

5.  The cat howling  woke me up from a dream argument with a woman I hardly know. It was about me wearing too much make up but she was wearing purple yellow and green eyeshadow!!!  The same woman was also angry with me for  sliding out of my sandals on a steep slope while the Orangemen walked Belfast. I’m certain a psychologist could make a lot from that little lot!

6. Made my breakfast. Put the cereal bowl down next to the butter dish while I got the yoghurt out of the fridge. Poured my yoghurt all over the butter dish instead  of all over my cereal. Sigh.

7. Latest wedding album arrived. Once again not up to standard. Yet another confrontation on the phone to the album company. Of  course their answer every time is that it’s my files at fault and not their printing. I did suggest that their quality control man must have been struck blind if he couldn’t see that there was so much red in the pictures that the whole bridal party looked like they  had sunstroke. Can I just take the photos and leave the rest of it up to someone else, please? I like taking the photos.

8. Still feeling hurt and angry today after a thoughtless comment that had me in tears for most of yesterday.

9. Having a two day headache and no sign of it lifting.

10. All the other crap that I can’t share on here – which makes the rest of it seem like a walk in the park.

Moan over – for now.

My name is Morgan Freeman, thanks for listening.